


Even if the ceiling caves in on itself I'll still stand by you

by jarofactonbell



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempt at Humor, M/M, Meddlesome Friends, Mutual Pining, language struggle, maknae-line centric, mild and excessive swearing, mild angst and violence, oblivious characters, pretty pretty mv inspired, problematic uni kids, slide into the dark life, tsundere behaviour
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2018-11-23 15:24:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11405196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jarofactonbell/pseuds/jarofactonbell
Summary: Yuto's life quotes consist of 'Never tell lies', 'Avoid scary and beautiful people', 'Maintain consistent emo edgelord aesthetics', 'Run in the face of confrontation' and 'Help a crying person but know that you will make it worse.' So far he's breaking his principles instead of keeping them. It's a mess. He didn't leave Japan for this.





	1. Help a crying person but know that you will make it worse

**Author's Note:**

> The Pentagon fanfics are quite low on AO3 and it's up to us fans to make the fics grow. So here I am writing a multichapter fic featuring my new found ship Yuto and Kino. I hope Universe and other fans give this fic just as much love as you did my first one and throw comments/complaints/kudos/rotten fruits at me as you please.
> 
> Italics in inverted commas are this time in Japanese

Yuto did not leave Japan, trek his emo edgelord self an entire ocean to this land of beautiful southeast Asian people to be stuck between a fighting couple.

In hindsight maybe that baseball scholarship back in Japan would've sufficed. But Yuto is ambitious and he's also a rebel (his mother gives him hell every other day that he calls her - he might have made regrettable decisions all his life but he's not suicidal; not calling your mother means you're a dead son. Written off the family tapestry dead, you're locked out of your own home dead, what son we only have a daughter dead.) He should've known the entertainer's life was not for him who can't even say something in front of a classroom. But Yuto is equal parts stubborn and equal parts stupid teenage rebellion, so he's in Seoul, at 19 years old bordering on 20, regretting his teenage decisions.

The girlfriend looks ready to claw the guy's eyes out. Yuto moves back as she lunges and the guy runs to hide behind him. He knows too well that in this kind of situation the outcome can be two ways - either the girlfriend will kill him too or he can run now and regret later. He shifts and the girlfriend turns to him, seething.

"You cheating asshole!" She shrieks, bag coming down to beat Yuto on the arm. He retracts his arm and jerks back, pulling his jumper away from the boyfriend's death grip. A supersonic screech emits from the girl's mouth as the bag comes slamming onto the guy and Yuto books it out of that scene, fast. 

Yan An finds it absolutely hilarious when Yuto recounts his near-death experience. Yuto's friends are traitors, snitches from the very cracks of morality - they mock him endlessly and stab him in the back in broad daylight. His suffering is their nutrition. They feast on his tears.

"Stop being dramatic, you big baby. Honestly," Yan An throws a sock at him. Yuto moves to one side and continues bemoaning. "You're 184 cm of baseball training and emo eyeliner, I don't know why you're so scared of confrontation."

"My life motto is to run when faced with confrontation," he retorts back. "Which is why I can't continue sports any longer because the other guy may be shorter but his glare is nastier than my resting bitch face."

"I feel so sorry for the people who think you are all badass and tough. You're the biggest whimp I have the misfortune of knowing," Yan An scoffs and folds the sleeves of another shirt in. 

Yuto is petty so he leans down to nudge the neat pile of shirts Yan An stacked up. He didn't anticipate the fact that Yan An can throw really violent tackles and is in a dangerous state of mind. The wrist grab and insanely blurry lunge from Yan An from the bed have to have ties with anger with the world because one moment he's standing, next minute he has a crazy Chinese giant sitting on him, hissing curses. His back doesn't even have time to register hurt - his whole body is in shock from the sheer speed. 

"Don't ruin my laundry. Mess up your own," the boy glares at him, hands pinning his wrists to the floor. Their faces are close. Too close. Yan An's hair is falling onto _his_ face. Yuto spits out black hair and tries to headbutt his friend. He flails and flaps around on the floor. Yan An continues to sit leisurely on him, face a sadistic glint. Yuto flops.The Japanese sends a brief prayer to the gods - Yan An doesn't let go until someone physically pull him away. He's doomed. He momentarily wonders if someone will walk in and assume something is happening.

"Wait wait wait what is this what is this! Yanan-ah what are you even doing?!"

Or worse, Lee Hwitaek. 

Yan An keeps his forehead attached to Yuto's, teeth showing. Yuto is more parts regret and less parts common sense, so he hisses and pushes back, rolling the Chinese boy away. They roll twice on the floor, palms pushing and Hwitaek is somewhere above them, screaming at them to stop.

"YAH!"

Yan An falls backwards and Yuto skids back on his ass. They scramble to look at the crossed arms of the person in the doorway. Jo Jinho is 164 cm of softness and fluffy clouds on a regular basis (which Hongseok coddles) and is a terrifying being when there are people fighting, his height is ridiculed or someone ate all the food. He can see doom in those eyes. 

"We can explain," Yan An begins. 

"You are not supposed to be in here," Jinho stabs a finger at Yuto. The flinch he lets out isn't voluntary. "Explain that."

Yuto may be a coward in a lot of circumstances despite his 6 foot height and all black attire and Yan An is an asshole, an attractive one, but an asshole regardless, but he has like 3 friends in total in Korea and despite Yan An almost breaking him he still wants to keep the Chinese alive. 

Yuto can feel the common sense part in his brain slips further away from him. He can't blame it.

"I asked to change. I didn't like my roommate much and Changgu-ssi is away so I didn't think that it would make that much impact."

Jinho and everybody there know that Yuto is lying. Badly. Jung Wooseok is Yuto's supposed brother from another marriage that his father had, they both got separated since birth and because they're brothers they know that they'll find each other in Seoul. Half of the time they call each other the Adachi-Jung brothers. Adachi Yuto doesn't dislike Jung Wooseok - that sentence belongs to the category of 'America has female presidents', 'Australia accepts all refugees', 'Kpop idols are praised for having natural skin.'

Jinho's face tells Yuto his lies are bullshit and there better be a rational explanation in the next 3 seconds. Yan An steps in.

"I can't...I can't stand Yeo Changgu. I applied for a roommate change last week and Yuto-ah said he'd be happy to change."

 _"Yuto said he'd be happy to change?"_ Hwitaek gapes, thick eyebrows scanning between him and Yan An.

"I mean he has a mouth he's more than welcome to use it," Yan An mows on like a power engine. Hwitaek stutters and loses his momentum, but Jinho, who is sharper than all of them combined, swoops in because he gave too many chances open and none of them took it. Yuto shares a look with Yan An. Maybe they can split the rent and sleep on the bank of the Han river. If Yuto is careful he can save enough money for a one-way flight back to Japan. It's close enough - it shouldn't take that long to save. He'll bring Yan An along. They can both escape this demon land where Koreans are cruel creatures who scream a lot and inflict bodily injuries.

"Did something happen with Changgu?"

Yuto can't hide his surprise. Jinho stares severely down at him and he snaps his head back, eyes to the floor. Yan An hasn't said anything.

"Will Yuto moving here solve anything?" Yan An doesn't move. "Yananie I need you to answer so we can make arrangements." Hwitaek has already left - to get someone or something; he's not too sure. He's more concerned about the way Yan An's shoulders are shaking subtly. Jinho follows his gaze and sees it as well, mouth a soft ' _ah_ '. Yan An pushes past them to walk outside, fists close to his side.

"Can I talk to him?" Yuto puts up a timid hand. "I don't know myself what happened, but I figure he'll tell me, probably, about what happened," he stares, "I think." 

"Yuto-ah that's the least reassuring thing you ever told me, after I don't like Wooseok," the older man rubs his face, eyes pinched shut. Yuto doesn't know if that means he's frustrated with the situation or at his inability to tell lies. He bows quickly to Jinho and follows Yan An, hearing the quiet sobs in front of him. A door shutting tells him Jinho also left.

Yuto is bad with sobs. He can't do sobs. Sobs are another form of confrontation and his life quotes consist of 'Never tell lies', 'Avoid scary and beautiful people', 'Maintain consistent emo edgelord aesthetics', 'Run in the face of confrontation' and 'Help a crying person but know that you will make it worse.' Yuto will make it worse. He can feel it in his black soulless emo self. 

He reaches a hand to Yan An whose back is turned to him. Claps on the boy on the shoulder tentatively like he'll break. He seems like he'll break. "Hey Yananie."

"Stop bothering me," the boy slurs back,  _" **you're so annoying go away."**_

Yuto knows when foreigners forget to speak in Korean there are two reasons: 1. they forgot the word for it in Korean and 2. they're under so much emotional distress that they cannot verbalise it in the language that they need to speak in. As someone who frequents the first reason for all of his time in Korea, Yuto finds reasons to panic as the second reason is the worst possible circumstance because in theory it happens, but in application very few have witnessed it.

"Yan An." The sobbing ceases and a teary-eyed (still pretty-looking) face turns to glare at him, but Yan An lost all badassery the minute he starts crying. "I'm going to give you a hug."

Yuto can see the fight leaving his friend and he hugs the taller boy, head in the junction where head meets neck. He grips Yan An with all the strength baseball had given him in his arms and feels the sobs through him rather than hear them. Ugly sniffing sounds and painful punching at his back and arm but Yuto holds on, knowing they're both tsundere bastards who refuse affection but need it _desperately._

 Yuto got this. As long as he keeps his mouth shut.

"You look ugly when you cry," he says.

Never mind then.

Yan An, instead of crying even more, pauses and starts coughing into his neck. Yuto tries to take the brunt of it, leaning to one side to accommodate the 3cm difference in their height which the Chinese lords over him every other day. "I told you I'm shit confrontation. This is precisely why I run."

"I don't- I don't look ugly at any - time," Yan An hiccups and _oh._ He's _laughing_. The asshole is laughing.

"You look ugly all the time you jerkface quit being so full of yourself," he loosens his grip and Yan An disentangles from him, eyes puffy but there are no more running tear tracks. Yuto awkwardly holds his friend's hands, playing with Yan An's fingers.

"How did you find out you're gay?" 

Yuto drops the hands faster than he ever dropped anything in his life. Running contenders include school grades, dignity, sports and responsibility. It's very high up.

"Why?" Yan An shrugs. Yuto takes a moment to digest the clues he's been given.

Wait.

He got it.

Probably.

"I was never into girls. I used to run whenever people approach me and at some point my mother gave up asking me about a girlfriend because she knows it'll never happen. Have you seen me run? I put Usain Bolt to shame. I think it was around middle school or something? I was playing baseball and it was really hot and this one guy, Yamamoto, took off his shirt and I was like. Yep. There goes being straight. I am changed. Told my family first thing I went back. My dad didn't take it that well but everyone else was fairly tolerant with it," he finds his friend's hands again and starts playing with them. "Did your parents not take it that well?"

"They know since forever, don't worry," Yan An waves a hand. "Changgu found out."

He squints because he doesn't understand. The words have a meaning and Yuto gets the meaning, but he's lost for context. Yan An doesn't look like he'll share that information any time soon.

"Okay and what happened?"

"Why do you think I'm packing my shirts into a suitcase?"

There is no  _oh_ moment in Yuto's mind, only a silence. He kinda gets the situation now, knowing that Yan An will never share the specifics of what exactly went down. Changgu probably threw a hissy fit at Yan An's reveal and said some harmful things. His friend is very resistant to many things - he's probably the most enduring person after Jo Jinho-hyung. Yan An puts up with Yuto and Wooseok for a whole year and that takes a lot out of a person. Even Hwitaek collapses from sheer stress at some point. Yan An and Jinho don't falter. They just sort of did damage and crowd control and took care of it. Seeing Yan An quitting and literally packing his things stir a discomfort in Yuto's dark emo soul. He's twitching, mouth opening to say something.

"Is that all? The reason you want to move away completely from him?"

Yan An knows Yuto knows. Yuto knows Yan An knows he knows, but he doesn't say anything, waiting for his friend to initiate things first. He'll only fuck it up if he says things now.

"No," the boy sighs. "No that's only part of it."

Yuto's twitching only increases when Yan An looks him directly in the eye, voice no longer trembling.

"I told him I liked him, and he basically told me to fuck off from his sight."

 


	2. Never tell lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I guess consistent portrayal of Wooseok as the sassy best friend is now a thing that I do.  
> Also, when I tagged this with language struggle I drew on my inspiration of being a non-native English person. I'm glad people are enjoying my works despite language mistakes. Please forgive my mistakes English is very hard

"Hey," Wooseok looks up from the bed to Yuto, "I'm going to scream for a bit."

"What for exactly?" His friend shifts a pair of shoes aside and gestures for him to sit down. Yuto keeps standing.

"Adachi," Wooseok breathes, eyes pinched shut. His hand clutching the ridge of his nose. 

"Jung," Yuto responds because he's in a suicidal mood. "Let me be emotional for once."

He hears the bastard mutters something suspiciously like  _"But you're emotional all the time"_ but Yuto is burning with anger hence he cannot care about his dignity in the presence.

Not that he has dignity but it's always nice to live in an illusion once in a while.

"I was at Yan An's place because he needed to pack up and move in with someone else. His roommate's Yeo Changgu and they had a bit of a fight, which, okay. I'm understanding of the fact that as human beings we have issues with other people and we all are entitled to rights and opinions."

Wooseok only says, "I think you meant to say I understand." Yuto spares him a look. It's his Dead Stare ™ - one that he uses in baseball. According to Yan An it makes him look even taller and more mafia-esque and people tend to back the hell off when he unleashes it on them. Wooseok closes his mouth with a click and a sigh, "Fine, go on."

"But the thing was, that fight was ridiculously upsetting to Yan An that when I went over today he was crying about it," he gestures with his hands.

"Yan An was crying in his dorm when you came over?" Brows were lifted. Yuto backtracks.

"No I was telling him about this couple I was caught between today and the girl was terrifying she hit me because the guy hid behind me. Full on smacked me on the head with her handbag and screaming kinda thing," he points to his forehead as if to highlight the invisible wound. Wooseok does not humour him, kicking his shin to tell him to continue. "I went over there because you weren't back and I need someone to rant to. So there I was, chilling in his room with him folding laundry and me bitching and because I'm petty I tried to nudge his pile of shirts down and I kid you not Seok-ah he jumped on me and took me down NRL style."

"I need to address so many different things in that monologue that I feel like it would take a long time to get to them all," Wooseok sighs again. Why is everyone around Yuto sighing like they are the suffering one? Why is it that when he sighs it's melodramatic but when it's others it's an indication of doneness? 

Yuto blames xenophobia.

"First of all, I cannot believe you masked your real reason of checking up on Yan An as a bitching sesh you tsundere prick. Yes I noticed I'm your friend for years. Secondly, you're always petty I think everybody knows this - specially Yan An."

Yuto waits for Wooseok to get it.

"Something must've been very off if Yan An of all people forgot your inherent pettiness and tackled you on the ground," Wooseok turns to him, eyes serious. "And he told you it was because of Changgu-hyung?"

"His exact words were I told him I like guys and he basically told me to fuck off."

Yuto can hear the monotonous tick tock of the clock in his dorm. Can see Wooseok's hands tighten on themselves.

"Okay now you can be emo. I'll even lend you my jacket," he leans over and makes a dramatic show of taking off his black leather jacket. Wooseok's eyes widen and he lets out quick snorts of disbelief, hitting Yuto on the shoulder. Yuto silently claps himself in the back for diversion. 

"Where is Yan An now? Where's he staying?" Wooseok stands up and starts throwing shirts and jackets onto Yuto's chair. " He can move in with us. We can manage."

"Uh yeah, about that..."

Wooseok squints at him, scrunching the hoodie in his large palms. 

"I might have switched with Changgu-hyung?" There is a stutter of silence. His friend breathes in, eyes closed. His hands move back and suddenly there's a hoodie in Yuto's face. Fabric digs into his eyes and nose. He splutters and trips backwards in a heap

"YOU IMBECILE!" Wooseok roars. Yuto prays for a safe passage to hell. Forget heaven he'll never reach that - hell is more approachable, also hotter. Fuck cold weather. "ANYONE WHO TOLD YANANIE HE'S DISGUSTING FOR BEING WHO HE IS HAS NO RIGHT TO BE NEAR ME!"

"Woud you rather Yan An be stuck aimlessly with no one to take care of him by himself?" Yuto hates confrontation and already he's confronted people who he respects and looks up to (literally - Wooseok is 189 cm of teenage rage and angry hair pulling). His morals are slipping away from him.

He can tell his lying motto crumbling away from his faraway dream of attaining virtue. He's close to telling Wooseok why Yan An is really upset but he's kept it to himself. It's the truth, but he can choose not to tell it.

"Ah fuck you're right. Jesus fucking Christ," Wooseok is (predictably) pulling on his hair, yanking short black strands from his scalp. "I'm going to go mad from seeing his face."

"That's a lot of hate for just one person," Wooseok turns so quickly Yuto can only see black and creaking chains attached at his friend's belt loop. He eyes the chain with distaste. The Punk Goth rock metal phase thing Wooseok is going through pains Yuto who is the resident emo goth. "Hey kids."

Ko Shinwon waves at them from the doorway, smiling a dopey smile. 

"Hyung," Wooseok coughs out, still shocked. Yuto stands up, hoodie still on his head. Neither Shinwon nor Wooseok react, used to seeing Yuto in his natural habitat. His brain is in overdrive - he has an idea but the effectiveness of the idea is still up to rational debate. He needs to think things over before...-

"Is your room free at the moment?" 

Wooseok turns to him, speechless.

Yuto refuses to let his mistakes define who he is. "Can Yananie stay with you?"

Shinwon shrugs, "Hwitaek hyung contacted me earlier asking if I'd be happy to store Yan An in my dorm and I said yes. Hyung told me to make arrangement with Yuto-yah since technically he's the roommate now. So here I am," the brunette spreads open his arms, eyes crinkling. "At your service."

"Can he move in now?" Shinwon laughs, nodding. "Okay yes, great, brilliant, take him."

The brunette lingers a bit, hands inside his coat. He smiles another big smile.

"You know Yuto-yah, you're much more compassionate than a lot of people thought."

"Thank you hyung, but I'm not that at all," he follows the boy out the door, "I'm a dark soulless emo. My soul is black. I don't laugh." 

Shinwon finds his deadpan expression especially hilarious because the boy is bent over laughing and clapping, eyes shut. Yuto stands awkwardly on the side.

"Trust me buddy, your soul is the most beautiful thing I have the privilege of witnessing. I want to thank you for what you're doing for Yananie," Shinwon pokes a head out. "I'm not teasing you. Just thought you need to hear it"

"Thanks hyung," _I guess_. 

"You'll get it one day Yuto-yah," he ruffles Yuto's hair and walks away, shoes heavy on the wooden floor.

"For the record your soul is dark emo black," Wooseok confirms for him.

"Get out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please wait for a while as I think of more tragic metaphors and monologues for Yuto to describe his life


	3. Avoid scary and beautiful people

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Even though I backhand you and then you rolled on the floor and smashed your nose onto my noona's shoe, you still look hot regardless."
> 
> Yuto's breath is caught in his throat. He probably choked a little.
> 
> "If you weren't straight I'd ask you out," Yuto tells Hyunggu honestly. "But unfortunately you are, so we can only be in this flirting stage where I want to date you but I can't because you like women."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise dramatic monologues so here I am. Thank you for TheDarkNightsRun for the Pretty Pretty MV mention because this whole scene will be a similar situation to that.

"We're hosting a party," Hwitaek casually slides into the space Wooseok reserved for his bag, eyes dangerously bright and chirpy. Yuto stares at the blonde cautiously over his sandwich, ham's going a bit stale from the way his hyung is a bit  _too chipper_ on a Wednesday lunch.

"Okay and?" Wooseok shuffles his bag over. A shadow appears over him. A smiling Jinho looms overhead.

"You two have to come," the short (but scary) brunette puts a heavily-burdened hand on Yuto's shoulder, knowing full well that the logical (safe) solution to this situation is to say yes.

"Who's going to this party?" Wooseok concedes while Yuto asks, "Is it safe for us to be there?"

They stare at each other. Wooseok gives him a weird look.

"I'm 99% sure that it will be safe for any kind of student as long as no smuggled drugs are involved," Jinho grips his shoulder tighter and Yuto can feel the beginning of a crick forming in his deltoids or some other muscle Hongseok was drilling into him. "And alcohol will be regulated of course."

"How are you gonna do that?" His friend squints, being a crafty teenager who understandably smuggled things into parties before. "Check everyone before they go in? What kind of a party is this?"

"A social outing where you interact with people. I really hope you can come so we can all meet and get along with each other," Hwitaek joins in and stands next to Jinho, angelic leader smile in place. Yuto can feel his own resolve melting because while Jinho is a cruel and ruthless postgrad student, Hwitaek is a genuine nice sunshine who gently compels people into doing things. Yuto remembered signing up to save dolphins at some point and donating to 40 Hour Famine for a whole week. Hwitaek is terrifying and together with Jinho he better say yes or he'll suffer the physical and psychological backlash later on.

Wooseok hangs his head, KO'ed.

"Uh, yeah, sure," Yuto gives two thumbs up. "Have you guys talked with Yan An?" 

Jinho's eyes shift into an unreadable expression. Hwitaek maintains his cheery sunshine smile.

"Yes, in fact I did. It was this morning before tutorial. He was on his way to class and Changgu-ssi was talking with him."

Yuto is impulsive, sometimes. Wooseok on the other hand is full of rage 24/7. Jinho is 5 foot 5 of mellow boyish voice and can intimidate half a cat when he's fake angry, but his anger is unpredictable. Sometimes it happens sometimes it doesn't.

Wooseok snaps his plastic fork into pieces while Jinho lets out a weird noise. Both are loud. 

Yuto sits stunned, Korean words still being translated to Japanese inside his brain. Then he bolts up, fists slamming on the wooden bench. 

"What?!"

"Yan An didn't want to talk to him at first but after a while I could tell that they were alright again," Hwitaek carries on explaining even as Wooseok's ' _How'_ intercedes his explanation. "I didn't know exactly what went down because I was only passing, but I'm positive there's no more fighting in the foreseeable future."

"I'm calling him," Wooseok pulls out his phone. Jinho puts a hand on the boy's phone. "Why not, hyung?"

"Because you'll see him today at the party and you can ask him then. There's a reason he's not telling you he talked to Changgu-ah and we have to respect that." Yuto can see his friend slowly putting his phone back although wrinkles are still on his forehead. Hwitaek pushes in to momentarily distract them. Yuto keeps his eyes on Jinho whose face is still expressionless.

"The party will be on tonight at 7.00. Please wear something nice that is not band t-shirts," he looks at Wooseok who whines loudly, "or all black," Yuto flinches. "Be nice to everyone and remember to look after each other. I'll see you guys then."

"Hey Hui the professor is calling for you!" Someone from far off screams.

"I'm coming!" Hwitaek bows to them and runs off. Jinho remains, eyes on the wooden bench. Yuto pulls his legs over the seat, but they keep getting caught and knocked on the wood and instead of a smooth and elegant exit he's just cursing while he retrieves his limbs.

Sometimes it's hard being tall. Then he flinches as Jinho glares at him. Psychology doesn't enable practitioners to gain mind reading right?

Hopefully not.

"Hey hyung let's talk for a bit," Yuto says loudly and tactlessly. Wooseok, the golden child that understands how Yuto's mind works, makes a big and noisy show of searching for another fork and turns his back to Jinho and him. Yuto throws a quick nod to his friend who jerks his head to the left, telling him to take his chat somewhere privater. Jinho follows him to the side, the lines of his body tense.

"What's wrong?" Yuto asks. There's no answer.

"The whole Changgu Yan An thing is troubling me," the older boy starts to rub at his temples, "there're some missing pieces that don't make sense."

"Hyung literally right now nothing makes sense to me," Yuto deadpans. Jinho crumbles in a snort, hands flat on his forehead. "So if you're anything like me you either forget and move on or you overthink yourself and get a headache. I don't like headaches so it wasn't a particularly hard decision."

Jinho is giggling now, eyes shut in mirth. "You're good at this."

'At what?"

"Cheering people up. You're a good person."

It's not that Yuto is ungrateful - he loves compliments and being valued just as the next guy, but he has an image to maintain. Also getting complimented for the right thing matters as well. He wants to be complimented for being tough, manly, impenetrable, cool, mysterious, not compassionate and good-hearted. He doesn't have a heart and his soul is black. There is no love there and certainly no goodwill.

"Hyung I'm 184 cm of edgy emo teen angst and black soul. I am not a 'good' person nor am I compassionate. Did you know you're the second person to tell me that I have good qualities in the span of two days? Unbelievable," Jinho is laughing at him, all trouble gone from his mind. Yuto is glad nothing bothers his hyung any longer. He doesn't want to outwardly show that he cares but he still keeps watch over them (sometimes literally) to check that they are okay. Jinho is cackling at his little head shake and Yuto adds a small _'Take me seriously hyung I have an image to uphold!'_ for the sake of ending all bad thoughts from his hyung's mind.

"I'll see you later you weirdo," Yuto automatically bends down for his hyung to ruffle his hair, not even pausing to think about it. Jinho ruffles his hair and Wooseok turns to him, smirking.

"It's the dog and its owner."

Reasonable people would protest at this observation; Yuto turns to the two boys, "What kind of dog am I?"

Wooseok throws a spinach leaf at him as Jinho cackles and walks away, waving at them. 

"You'll be such a good Doberman," Wooseok comments thoughtfully. Yuto blinks, unable to conjure up an image of the dog. Is that even a real breed?

"Yah why are you Googling up 'Are Dobermans real' don't you trust me you rat?"

-.-.-

"When Hwitaek-hyung said social outing I was expecting it to be like, big," Shinwon ducks a head under the low-draped curtains, "it's pretty decent."

"This many people is fine with me," Yuto grouses, "what if you jinx the numbers and now half the campus would turn up huh? My human-phobia can't handle it."

"You don't have a human-phobia. Stop being dramatic," Wooseok points out from his left, fixing the cuffs of his shirt. "Why did I wear a shirt again?"

"Because you didn't want to get out of the house half naked?" Yuto offers up (un)helpfully. His friend blinks several times, considering his answer.

"You're probably not wrong?" 

"He's probably sarcastic too, but we'll never know," Shinwon supplies (un)helpfully. Yuto punches him in the arm as laughs emit from his friend's mouth. Shinwon dodges away easily, despite being long-limbed like he is. Yuto watches with barely contained jealousy surfacing on his normally resting bitch face as his tall friend weaves expertly and gracefully around people to go talk to other people. Wooseok ditches him soon after, running over to Hyojong and Jinho who are handing out drinks and quiches (most likely Hongseok's works - Yuto files that information away to exploit later). Yuto scans the room, feeling the bumps of strangers into his hips and sides, dizzy from the sharp elbows and _really_ pointy hips. He swerves to the food table, fingers loosening his choker as he scans the room for Yan An.

Said man in question runs to him there, light shirts and jeans blinding Yuto's vision. He makes a show of shielding his eyes from the brightness.

"Hey edgelord," his friend grins, all traces of angry murder gone from his face. Yuto squints suspiciously. "I'm fine, mum. Really fine. You look good." Yuto knows it's a distraction tactic and he knows that Yan An knows that. He puts it aside.

"Is that a 'you look decent to leave the house' good or 'you're my friend I have an obligation to compliment you even though you look like a potato sack' good?" Yuto shrugs his shoulders, the collared shirt unfamiliar on his frame. Yan An laughs and reaches down (he seethes at the condescending way the boy did it and slaps his friend's hands away) to fix his collar. Yuto fidgets some more to make life difficult for Yan An and grins a sadistic smile as his collar is left alone.

"You look more approachable," Yan An decides, dusting nonexistent dust on his pristine white jeans. Yuto pulls a face at the notion of white pants. Wouldn't they get dirty really easily? Why bother wearing them if you're going to ruin it five minutes after? "I didn't know you have jumpers and a formal white shirt."

"Why do you sound so surprised," Yan An doesn't need to say anything, "yah, my wardrobe is only 95% black! I have other colours in there as well, asshole." He looks down at his hand-knit jumper Shinwon and Jinho gave him on his first winter in Seoul. It's a dark blue colour with gold lines across his torso and near the edge, with white rings around his wrists. His shirt is a starchy white one his mother forced into his suitcase and although it fits, it makes him overall uncomfortable. He's so used to black worn t-shirts and leather jackets all year round that this outfit makes him slightly squirming in his own skin.

Yan An notices the other detail he has. Yuto dreads for this very moment.

"Is _that_ a choker? Is the great Adachi Yuto _wearing_ a choker?"

"Why do you sound so surprised you know I love chokers," he swats the excited fly away from throttling his neck for the thin strip of leather wrapped snugly around his throat. He has an edgy look to maintain, but this is an accessory he indulges in besides piercings so Yuto doesn't see any issue in that. Plus it gives him a dangerous vibe so people steer clear of him.

"You're dressing nice. Hoping to get in with someone tonight?" Hongseok is at his side in a flash, winking. Yuto fake vomits.

"I'm only here to encourage bad life decisions, not to hook up with anyone. Seeing people sucking faces in the library has left an impression on me. I'm not going down that path," he shudders, shaking his head and accepts the plate of food Hongseok shoves into his hand. "Do you know where Wooseok is so I can goad him into strip poker?"

"You're a terrible enabler," his hyung laughs, "he's with Hyojong. I think they _are_ playing poker. Don't be too mean to them. I have to get the shortbread out. Have fun." Yan An wanders off with Hongseok, screaming something about watching Hwitaek sing.

Yuto rubs his hands together. Time to get blackmail photos.

He arrives not to blackmail material but to five boys screaming at each other as the UNO cards stack in the centre. Hyojong points an accusing finger at Wooseok as his friend throws a hoodie at Shinwon who doesn't dodge in time. Jinho and another boy are arguing, hands flying in different directions. Yuto approaches Jinho slowly but the boy arguing with his hyung turns around with a flying backhand and all Yuto can see for five seconds straight are bright and dark spots. He stumbles and falls on his arse to the floor, groaning in misery.

"Holy shit Hyunggu you knocked my friend out cold," he hears Wooseok laugh, not at all concerned. He can hear Shinwon rummaging for an ice pack. 

"Lie down for a bit Yuto-yah," Jinho murmurs to him. Yuto stays down on the floor, silently seething. Jinho slowly eases him up, hand firm on his back and shoulder, eyes probably pinched in concentration like whenever he's focused. Yuto's eyes are still blurry, the spots having a mini campfire ceremony and pissing his brain off. His legs hurt from skidding. He'll be forced to wear an eyepatch for the rest of his days and steals gold coins from people and burying them in chests. Having only one working eye isn't probably beneficial for academic pursuit. He's half sitting, half leaning on Jinho who has Hongseok holding him upright and Shinwon applying the ice pack on him. He feels like an invalid, but it's a nice general feeling of being babied around and he soaks in it. Before something screams at him and tries to jump onto Yuto.

Yuto played baseball for 10 years. Even though he quits playing professionally, he's still a very good player (as a general self-assessment). He still has athletic reflexes from the long hours of stretching and drills, and sometimes, it's hard to get rid of these habits. Before he can properly evaluate the situation, Yuto breaks free from the three people supporting him, kicking Wooseok, smacking Shinwon, pushing himself off Jinho and Hongseok and scrambling away. At least he thinks he's scrambling away, but it feels like he's just rolling along the floor at a high velocity.

 _Jesus Christ what am I doing_ , he thinks and slams his nose straight square and centre onto a toecap. Yuto sits up, floundering as the fresh batch of stars dance before his eyelids and tipping his head back in case there is blood dripping down his front. The shirt is expensive, apparently, and his mum will skewer his corpse on a bamboo tree if he even get a speck of dust on it.

The bad news is: there is blood, the good news is: it's not escaping his nose so he can escape his mother's wrath. Even worse news: it's dripping down his windpipe where blood shouldn't be.

Yuto can hear Wooseok snorting in his mental mindscape about 'sorting out his priorities'. Yuto ignores it. Wooseok is an asshole inside and outside of his mind - there's no need to follow up on those advices.

But the pain is real and he can't see. The person whose shoe he slammed into squats immediately to his face and pinches his nose, telling him consistently to 'breathe through your mouth'. It's not a guy's voice and Yuto can hear his mental Wooseok screeching out laughter as he realises how thick and sharp girls' shoes are. It's like the world has a personal vendetta against him and conspires with inanimate objects as a massive FUCK YOU to screw with him. He's feeling the effects of that now, pain throbbing behind his eye and nose. 

"Noona, is he okay?" A voice asks. 

"Get him an ice pack kid. He's bleeding through his nose, get me a cloth as well," the girl pushes the guy away. Yuto can't be sure because his eyesight is a solid -20/20 and his head is tipped back as far as it can go and sharp nails are digging into the back of his neck. He's bleeding down his windpipe. His eye is swollen. It's not a great look.

A cloth is then unceremoniously shoved into his nose and he tips his head forward, spitting out blood. The cloth turns dark red as he coughs, lungs getting rid of the excess blood.

"Take care of him Hyunggu-ah, I'll be back," the nails leave his neck, "watch after him."

"Okay noona, don't be too long," someone sidles in close to him. Yuto splutters out more blood, uncaring for his surrounding. How much blood did he swallow? How much blood can be reasonably spat out before he pass out? Yuto groans as his eye throbs. Yeah he's not going to find that out soon. 

Hands start to rub up and down his back softly, as if afraid of breaking him further. Yuto doesn't have the energy to maintain his tough outlook because his nose is swollen and so is his eye - he has priorities. And those priorities are to get the fuck out of this party before he break his arm or spinal cord.

Eye still swollen but able to take in sights, Yuto turns to the kid rubbing his back, bumping into a shoulder. He grunts and the person looks down, eyes alarmed, hands coming to rest on his shoulders as he's looking for any unexpected injuries. When the eyes come back up to meet Yuto's eyes, he feels like he's been slapped in the lungs, the air threatening to evacuate his lungs like the blood he coughed up earlier. It's gross, but Yuto isn't exactly in the best state of mind to give poetic descriptions. He's someone who got knocked on the head twice, not a paid poet.

"Are you...are you okay should I call for someone..-" the boy panics, hands hovering in frozen panic above his shoulders. Yuto feels cheated. He wants to tell the personal vendetta that the world has against clumsy people like him to shut up and take a break. A long one. The boy has all these sharp lines: nose, cheeks, hair, eyebrows and his hair is pushed up and to the side, fringe wavy on his forehead. His eyes are fluorescent under the dimly-lit room and Yuto feels self-conscious in his swollen and bloody appearance. He's a physical mess in front of possibly the most attractive boy on he's ever met. It's fine. Yuto can get out of this and hopefully they won't have to exchange name or something like that where the only impression the guy has of him is him rolling on the floor and smashing his nose onto someone's shoe after he got accidentally decked across the eye.

"It's a bad way to introduce myself, but I was the person who originally smacked you on the face," he tells Yuto. 

He likes to attest that he has no brain to mouth filter. Especially after he's knocked on the head twice where it's very hard to have a rational thinking brain. He almost weeps when the words leave his mouth.

"You're way too soft to knock me that hard. Like, that backhand was the weight of Naruto's Rasengan and Sasuke's vengeance to avenge his clan rolled into one."

It's silent for a while, then the guy claps two hands over his mouth and  _giggles._ Yuto's brain freezes for a moment, then the tingling feeling of something close to fondness spreads from his cold cold heart to the tips of his fingers and hairline. The boy's eyes shut close, his shoulders shake and all the hard lines vanish, leaving only a soft little puppy boy that Yuto wants to throw under a blanket burrito and protect from the cruel world.

"That's - that's definitely a new way of describing it - sure, yeah," the boy hiccups and giggles in the same breath. "I'm sorry it's just I knocked you over and you nearly broke your nose over noona's wedges, but now we're sort of chilling in a dark corner bonding over injuries."

"God that shoe was heavy. It was wood, right?" The boy nods. Yuto nods thoughtfully, hair falling over his face. "Yeah I'm not going anywhere near the floor again. Normally I'd be very far away from it, but I'm prone to weird accidents, so here I am, with a cloth of blood."

He must be doing something right, because the boy keeps on giggling, even harder than before. Yuto feels himself falling into the dark hole labelled L-O-V-E. He tries to drag his loser emo edgelord self back. 

"I don't know why I'm laughing I'm so sorry," there is a short breathy giggle fit. Yuto waves his free hand around, one hand still clutching the piece of blood-soaked cloth.

"It's a special talent of mine, using humour to distract people. Sorry I that I tried to escape by rolling away, Grand Prix style. It's just that I do baseball and I have it drilled into me that flying things are dangerous and I need to book it outta there, stat." He can hear Wooseok jeering at him from his mental mindscape. Can even hear his logic mocking him. "I'm Yuto."

"Kang Hyunggu," the boy smiles, eyes open wide. They stare at each other. Yuto can see flashing lights in Hyunggu's eyes. A group of girls walk past them and wave to the boy, giggling loudly. Hyunggu beams just as brightly to them, waving widely and dangerously close to Yuto's face but he has experience, he's not losing another eye as he dodges away. "Hi! I'll see you later!"

"You're friendly," Yuto observes. Hyunggu turns to him, humming softly.

"I talk to a lot of people. It's nice to establish connection and to always have people you can talk to wherever you go."

"Yeah I have a swollen left eye and a near broken nose. I think that's enough for a first impression," he answers wryly, eyes blinking heavily. His lashes feel heavy and Yuto briefly contemplates how long the swelling would take to go down. 

"You're making a great impression on me though," Hyunggu smiles gently, hands on top of Yuto's free one. Yuto shrugs.

"You seem like the nice type. You're probably that friend who tell me I look nice even though I look like a sack of potato that's been dragged through dirt."

"No! You're a really funny guy!"

"My redeeming quality," Yuto drawls. Hyunggu falters and splutters, words falling out of his mouth so fast Yuto can't catch it. "I'm still new to Korean, if you talk like that we can't go anywhere with this conversation."

"You still look great, swollen eye and nose and everything," Hyunggu mutters so softly that Yuto is 1000% sure that he misheard it because Yuto is awkward and clumsy, but never 'great'. "Did I speak too fast again?"

"You kind of did," Yuto is a little shit (for a little part, he wants to hear the admittance from the boy's lips again) and he wants to torture people. Hyunggu squints and looks him square in the face.

"Even though I backhand you and then you rolled on the floor to escape then smashed your nose onto my noona's shoe, you still look hot regardless."

Yuto's breath is caught in his throat. He probably choked a little. Hyunggu maintains constant eye contact.

"If you weren't straight I'd ask you out," Yuto tells the guy honestly because let's face it, he's hot and when will Yuto get another chance to openly confess like this. "But unfortunately you are, so we can only be in this flirting stage where I want to date you but I can't because you like women."

"What?" Hyunggu gapes as the same time as Yan An screams for his name. Yuto clumsily gets up using his hands, throwing a look to the shell-shocked Hyunggu once more. He pats the boy on the shoulder awkwardly.

"Sorry for suddenly telling you that. I don't think we'll ever run across each other again. I will do my best not to because now I've embarrassed myself beyond all limits. It's nice talking to you Hyunggu-ssi."

He aims for a brisk pace but from behind it probably looks like a convict-escaping-prison pace. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: The whole getting smacked on the face and blood nose was a spontaneous idea and I originally had something less injury-prone, but this is it and I don't regret it. Also it's fulfilling my 'meet ugly' scenario.


	4. Run in the face of confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Seriously if you don't tell us what's wrong I'm forced to knock this door down," Hongseok screams into the hinges. Shinwon comes bearing coffee from the kitchen.
> 
> "Is the bastard responding?" Hyojong, who had been a weird addition given his history with Yan An, who everyone suspects is dating Hwitaek or somehow weirdly close with the blonde or whatever, leans against the door. "Oi. Yan."
> 
> "Go away Kim."
> 
> "It's like the Malfoy-Potter feud. Next they'll be slashing each other in the bathroom," Shinwon supplies unhelpfully. Jinho cuts him a sharp look.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi hi I'm back. Trying to finish this fic. It's a pet project and it's receiving love and that's all I ever wanted.
> 
> I'm sorry I made Changgu seems like such an asshole, but he has his reasons. And Yan An, though portrayed like a tough guy, is a legit cinnamon roll I promise you he's just very strongly opinionated.
> 
> I haven't written stories in like a month I forgot how to grammar or punctuate properly I think I'm actually failing to English at this point.

Yan An wasn't hard to find. 

Granted, the guy is 6 foot 1 or whatever of awkward maneuvering through crowds and terrified face above people's heads. Yuto zeroes in on him in 3 seconds flat. The man-child is perching on a bar stool, inhumanly taller than the rest of the population (Wooseok doesn't count, he's an outlier). He stabs a menacing finger to his friend and does that two finger pointy thing where he intends 'stay there I'm coming over'.

Yan An isn't running or moving so his fingers are doing their jobs properly. Or he reached a new level of non-verbal communication with another foreign kid. Yuto flattens his stomach and swerves to the left. Probably not the case.

"Hey," Yan An shifts on the leather seat. "What's wrong?" he asks as the same time as Yuto slides into a seat without hurting himself, "Get ready. I'm about to chew you out."

"Um okay," Yuto gives kudos for Yan An for not flinching or bolting away in fear. "Why do you have a swollen eye and nose?"

Yuto gives him a look like  _not important._ Because it's not really. His tall bean friend had just a week prior bawled his goddamn eyes out for Yuto to catch and patch together. Throughout their one year of knowing each other, this never happened. Yan An doesn't do crying. He ignores and uses the guilt trip method so that people cry instead. Yan An is also a petty bitch.  _Everybody_ who ever spent more than five minutes with the guy knows. Hell, he has a Black Book where he notes down names of people who did him dirty (Yuto had seen it and it's running on thirty odd pages). Yan An keeps grudges forever - will most likely to carry his grudges to the grave and come back haunting those who wronged him. One time Yuto accidentally stepped on his polished Italian whatever rich-ass shoes and Yan An spent three weeks throwing dirty looks over his shoulder and hissing whenever Yuto tried to apologise. He had to resort to bribery by dumpling and only then did the guy relented. All traits of Yan An aside, it doesn't add up that he would simply forgive and forget someone who was outright homophobic to him. Yan An got into a fistfight with Kim Hyojong during orientation when the guy made a joke about recreational drug use and homosexual relationships in Asia. Yan An had given the blonde one black and purple eye and willingly walked to the campus coordinator and apologised for his crass behaviour  _but I will not stand for this sort of ridiculous medieval outlook on relationships and I'm not sorry._ True to the style of no-shit-given. Hyojong had been more than reasonably scared.

Half the campus stayed away from the Chinese transfer student who has the face of an angel but would punch you into tomorrow if you dared peep a regressive view on homosexuality.  _It's the 21st century for goodness sake,_ he complained afterwards, Jinho and Yuto pinning him down to dab at his cut lips,  _who even says these kind of things?_

Yan An gives no bullshit and takes no one's shit. Hyojong was just the first of many that Yan An chewed out or fought. The tally had long since escaped the knowledge of their respective friend group. It's probably more than the hair on Yuto's head. Yan An doesn't say  _I'll forgive you for spewing homophobic slurs at me_ he punches people when they say that.

"Explain to me," Yuto crooks a finger in front of Yan An's face, "why you forgave someone who spewed homophobic slurs at you."

"I haven't," Yan An answers primly, "I said that I won't fight him but I won't accept his apology."

"Buddy, it's really hard to break your little angelic heart here, but you don't do the whole 'forgive and forget' gig. You fight people."

Yan An pulls a face, "I'm trying to be understanding. It's annoying when I have unnecessary fights with people I'm close to."

Yuto's face falls into probably the biggest  _you're kidding me_ face. These words are leaving the mouth of a guy who single-handedly argued with his Korean literature teacher about the gay subtext in a historical novel despite not knowing much Korean. (He won and he was very much backed up by the entire text.)

"You do know that you are telling me who was and is a victim of your petty grudges right? Remember when you tackled me last week because I nudged your laundry pile? And the week after that when Wooseokkie wore your shirt and you rigged his alarm for an entire week? Unnecessary fights with people you're close to my ass. You are the epitome of fighting anyone who challenged your authority don't give me that face you know I'm absolutely right. Which brings me reasonably to my question."

Yuto leans in closer to Yan An's face. "Why the hell did you forgive Changgu-ssi for."

"Have you ever screamed something at your mum and she looked hurt by it but she forgave you anyways because you're her kid and she loves you?" Yan An says instead, lacing his fingers together. Yuto follows the movements, perplexed. What relevance does that have with-

Oh.

Oh no.

He whips his head to give Yan An a once over. _Oh yes_ his brain cries quietly.

Yan An doesn't have a stupid mini crush on Yeo Changgu. It's a legit infatuation with all the blooming roses in the background tacked with a huge-ass banner screaming MARRY ME.

"Yananie, my bro from Shanghai, my main impulse control, the Doraemon to my Nobita," Yuto seizes Yan An's shoulder, "why _him_ of all people?"

"Do you want a list chronologically or alphabetically?" His friend hangs his head. 

 _"That long?"_ Yuto loves Yan An like he's an extension of his growing family. He really does. But right this moment the guy is full of bull and Yuto just _can't._ "Oh Lord have mercy on me."

"And it's literally the opposite of my principles, but he's been kind to me before this incident so I figured I might as well forgive him," Yan An mumbles. Yuto glances around. There is dim lighting and he doesn't see anyone he has an immediate connection to in a 10 m radius. He moves closer, chair scraping loudly on the floor and nudges his shoulder with Yan An's.

The boy's head immediately falls on his shoulder. "Why am I doomed to liking homophobic straight boys?"

"Why are you asking me you loser?" He scoffs but drags a hand through Yan An's hair. "I wouldn't know. You completely forgave him? No fistfights involved?"

There is a nod from his shoulder and some sniffling. Yuto breathes through his nose. It's okay. He dealt with Wooseok stressing over his coffee being specific every time midterms roll around. He dealt with Jinho crying every time he got rejected from a recording label. He's equipped to handle emotional outburst. It's in his soul.

"I don't think 'get over his straight homophobic ass' is a viable option," he muses as Yan An mumbles "but it's a nice ass" into his shoulder.

"I did not need to know that," Yan An can't see the disgusted expression he pulls but Yuto is talented in conveying his disgust through his voice so his friend is cracking up silently through the fabric of his shirt. Yuto pats himself on the back for restoring another damaged soul for the week.

"No I told you, I'm here with someone else!" A glass is shattered and a girl's voice grits out. Yan An and Yuto turn to the commotion.

Yuto immediately clamps a hand on Yan An's thigh. 

Yeo Changgu is grabbing a girl's wrist and leaning a bit too close for comfort into her space.

"Well he's an idiot for leaving such a pretty thing wandering by herself," the guy leers and leans in even closer. "People could pick you up."

"Like what you're doing right now?"

Yuto does a double take. He can't blame himself because  _Kang Hyunggu_ is between the girl and the guy, sharp brows pinched menacingly that the entire party falls silent. Changgu stutters on his feet and plasters on a sneer.

"You her boyfriend?"

Even from 10 m away anyone can see the way Hyunggu's teeth gnash and clench at the syllable, " _No."_

"Then she's fair game, innit?"

"I'm not an object for you to drool over," the girl sets her dark eyes on Changgu. Yuto shudders. " _Fuck. Off._ "

"I always like the feisty ones," Changgu throws his head and laughs. Yan An is twitching on his seat. Yuto doesn't know how long he can potentially hold him off. He sees Hwitaek and Wooseok from across the room and he throws expressive eye movements and head tosses from Changgu to Yan An. Hwitaek's eyes light up and Wooseok begins to pushes through the throng of people to get to Yuto and Yan An.

"You're trying way too hard to prove something," the girl snarls, sharp teeth baring. "What, your manliness? Your overflowing heterosexuality?"

Changgu gulps in his response, eyes wide. Hyunggu remains quiet, but he slowly pushes the girl back, eyes fixed on Changgu.

"Who says I'm gay?" Changgu whispers, so quiet but so loud. Hwitaek has a hand on Yan An's wrist and Wooseok is pulling Yuto up from his seat. Changgu looks over at Yan An, directly. "I'm just despicable."

"Come on noona," Hyunggu pushes the girl away, "let's go Chungha-noona _come on_."

Yan An doesn't cry, but he refuses to touch anyone for the rest of the night, or the week after.

 

"This is ridiculous," Jinho purses his lips, hand on his hips. "Yananie you need to come out."

There's no sound but everyone in that dorm had heard the bedroom door closed when Yan An came back from his classes. Shinwon, as the other person living in the dorm, had barely finished getting off the phone with Hwitaek when not one but five overly concerned boys who had witnessed the shit storm that went down last Wednesday flooded into his dorm. It's a normal strategy for them to leave Yan An for a week for him to gather his thoughts but after a week's time he's fair bait. They will come pick at him.

"Go away hyung," a muffled voice screams vaguely back.

"Seriously if you don't tell us what's wrong I'm forced to knock this door down," Hongseok screams into the hinges. Shinwon comes bearing coffee from the kitchen.

"Is the bastard responding?" Hyojong, who had been a weird addition given his history with Yan An, who everyone suspects is dating Hwitaek or somehow weirdly close with the blonde or whatever, leans against the door. "Oi. Yan."

"Go away Kim."

"It's like the Malfoy-Potter feud. Next they'll be slashing each other in the bathroom," Shinwon supplies unhelpfully. Jinho cuts him a sharp look.

"So what happened? You, tell us," Jinho stabs a finger at Yuto who only remembered seeing everything as Yan An did a week ago.

"I talked to him about how he's not holding a grudge towards Changgu-ssi for being homophobic. We both heard the girl dropped her glass and saw him hitting on her."

"He was being homophobic?" Hyojong's eyebrows disappear into his low bangs. "And there's no fistfight during that confrontation?"

"That guy is such a petty bitch he doesn't forgive anyone," Wooseok whispers from the hallway. "That's weird."

"This is so problematic," Jinho cries into his palms. Hongseok lies a sympathetic hand on top of his shoulder.

"Problematic implies there's a solution, but looking at it as it is I'd say it's a mess. Like broke your great-grandfather's two thousand years old family relic mess," Yuto comments sagely. Wooseok rolls his eyes above everyone's heads.

"I cannot believe you are making vase analogies when your best friend is going through a crisis."

"I think, that Changgu saw you and Yan An talking and being, you know, close," Hongseok supplies and gestures vaguely to Yuto. He scrunches his face. Close? Since when do they act close?

"You mean the head on shoulder thing? I do that to everyone though?" He scans the room and there are several head nods. "It literally makes no sense? My friend was crying and I tried to make him feel better?"

"Did Changgu-ssi think like," Shinwon slaps a fist to his palm, "that you two are dating?"

His phone buzzes. Yuto looks around. All the potential people who would text him are in the room. No one else would. He excuses himself as screaming erupts at the possibility of a stupid idiot misinterpreting his closeness with Yan An. That's ridiculous. They're close friends. Why would that look like they're dating-

It's an unknown number. He freezes as he sees the message.

 

**Unknown:**

_come to yan an's old apartment it's urgent_

_it's changgu-ssi_

 

"Wait where are you going?" Hwitaek yells at his back as he comes tearing out of the dorm.

"I'm making bad life choices!" He screams back.

 

He opens the door with the key in the plant pot. He knows this place, he's always hanging out with Yan An before the whole Changgu fiasco exploded and went to mincemeat. Yuto marches to the kitchen space and sees the back of Changgu's head slumped on the sofa there. Yan An had talked both Yuto and Hongseok into moving a sofa into the kitchen because it helps his _chi_ or whatever spiritual healing thing and he seethes as he sees Changgu, the epitome of All Things Undeserving, lounging across it.

"Yeo Changgu," he states, voice ready to deal out sharp blows. "I'm here to fight you."

Changgu nearly falls off the couch when he turns around too quickly.

"What?"

Yuto simultaneously feels satisfaction and pity for the guy. There are dark circles under his eyes and he's bruising or something under his bottom lip. His shirt has yellow-brown food stains and he's only wearing ratty boxers. His hair is long and oily. There's barely any strength left in his voice. Meanwhile Yuto is in nice clothes and has a resting bitch face scary enough to get away with murder. Also he's like 6 foot of menacing baseball muscles. Changgu is about 5 foot 8 of mopey coffee-less self and skinny legs. Yuto can resort to violence if verbal abuse doesn't work out.

Yuto backtracks. He doesn't do confrontation. Yan An does that for him, fighting from the airport security to flying seagulls for Yuto. He's deadass scared of so many things that it's ridiculous he survived thus far. 

But Yan An is crying at home and starving himself and Yuto's emo heart breaks every time he sees the sunken cheeks on his friend's face. Fuck his principles. No friend of his deserves sadness. 

"You probably know why I'm here. I'm the best friend," he jerks his head menacingly to the side like  _come at me bro._ "My best friend is the one that you screamed homophobic slurs at and turned down in the harshest way possible when he even hinted that he might like you."

"Oh. I thought you guys were like," Changgu turns his wrist vaguely, "dating or something."

_"Because he has his head on my shoulder?"_

"Because you're always with him. I reckon you're more his type, like caring and nice and shit."

Unbelievable. After Yan An literally confessed this moron would probably think it's like a friendly love confession.

"The fuck is wrong with you?" Changgu flinches and Yuto feels momentary pity for the poor sap. "You couldn't like, talk to him about it?"

"Why would he want to talk to me, when I'm such a despicable bastard."

Yuto throws his hands up to the sky. "What?"

"Gay or not I would be despicable. Like, he should know that I scream homophobic slurs at college kids and hit on girls drunkenly at clubs and discriminate people by the colour of their skins and is a general asshole. He'll do much better than me," Changgu hangs his head, breathes loudly. 

"Did you mean it when you did all those things?" He approaches slowly, because he thinks he might get where this is going. 

 _"No,"_ Changgu moans.

"Do you accept honest words, because right now I need you to hear them from a third party," without waiting for the guy to respond he says, "you're actually stupid. Like so stupid my limited Korean word bank can't compensate for how stupid you are."

"Don't be mean I'm delicate," Changgu squeezes his eyes shut. "I just thought he could do better than me."

"Obviously that's what he'll think too when all of your impressions on him are assholish and generally against what Yan An looks for in a person! I think I'm going to bust a vein from being so mad," Yuto resorts to pulling his hair, Wooseok-style. "I have finally found someone dumber than me."

"Changgu-ssi, please, we all have flaws. No one's perfect. Yan An isn't either. Don't look at him like he's God's angel, he's not. He's a petty bitch, he has a Death Note book where he writes down people's names and what they did wrong according to him. He gets into a fistfight every second day. He's not perfect. None of us are.

I don't want you to idolise my friend and think that he's beyond your reach. He's just as human as you are. If all you act is general stupidity then how do you expect him to figure out what to do with you or whether you're worth his time?

It's not just you that decide your partner. He has a say too. He will decide whether you're good enough or not because of who you are, not what you pretend to be. Don't be stupid anymore and just let my friend know how stupidly in love and dumb you've been so we can all not fight each other."

It's the longest Yuto had ever spoken decent Korean. Changgu sinks even lower on the couch, eyes closed, face void of any emotions Yuto is apprehensive that he might have broken the guy. But the eyes open after a whole second and he sees the light brown in them flicker with something like giddy hope and Yuto shudders as Changgu makes a beeline from the couch to the door.

"YAH YEO CHANGGU PUT ON SOME DAMN PANTS!"

 

"Such a Kdrama situation," Yuto complains to no one after Changgu does book it outta the dorm, the space oddly calm after the rare confrontations that Yuto dared to instigate. He crashes onto the couch, nose wrinkling at the smell of sweat and whatever bodily liquids that leaked onto this thing. Oh god what if there's some questionable things that had occurred on this couch?

Yuto fights against his laziness and stands. 

"Hyung? You gone?" A familiar voice asks and he stumbles when Kang Hyunggu pokes his adorable little puppy face around the corner of the hallway to the kitchen and looks around. "Definitely gone, right?"

Yuto only trusts himself to nod, only Japanese words swimming in his brain.

"Thank God. I thought he might sulk forever," the boy smiles brightly at Yuto, who's aware that he had probably heard everything from inside from Yuto yelling to giving heartfelt advices.

He wants to dig a hole and crawl in there to die.

"No offence but," he shifts awkwardly, "why are you inside his dorm?"

"When Shinwon hyung swapped partners with Changgu-hyung, I was the person who got swapped."

"Shinwonnie has a roommate?" He chokes. "He told us he doesn't!"

Hyunggu shrugs. Yuto thinks that means that discussion is closed. "How have you been?"

"Uh, kinda shitty? I don't know, my best friend shuts himself in his room whenever he comes home from class and I had to stand guard in case he does some dumb shit, so it's been terrible and mildly exhausting so far."

Hyunggu does that thing where he laughs behind his palm with grace and integrity, eyes scrunched in a bright eyes smile. Yuto momentarily forgets he confessed that he's gay to this kid and potentially ruined any chance of normal friendship with beauty itself.

But his brain hates him and he's reminded of his mistakes in life and Yuto mildly panics, eyes dashing wildly around to escape.

"Yuto-ssi?" Hyunggu moves closer. "Am I making you uncomfortable?"

"No it's me that's making me uncomfortable," he replies honestly, "please don't come closer you're going to give me a cardiac arrest."

"Why," even though Hyunggu is laughing he can see the way the boy's eyes shake. Yuto scrambles to cover his mistakes.

"No I mean like you're beautiful and I'm a mess and we weren't supposed to meet again after my dramatic dialogue and now we're in a dirty kitchen with a couch that smells and I can't function properly with you here."

"You never gave me the chance to reply to you confession that week," Hyunggu is looking at him softly, puppy eyes round and big. Yuto feels the slam of vertigo that Yan An always squeals about. 

"My dating confession? Please forget-"

"Never assume that someone isn't interested before you hear their answer," Hyunggu smiles like there's a punchline Yuto doesn't get. He doesn't get it. "For the record I do want to go on a date with you. If you would have me."

Yuto freezes for about a whole second before he squeezes out a choked, _"What?"_

"Oh you said you would ask me out if I was into guys and I am and we were flirting awkwardly but I like that we don't have to change it-"

 _"You're into guys?"_ Yuto wheezes. "How did I not-"

"You kinda left when I was trying to explain myself. Next time if you let me clear up things it would be great," Hyunggu beams white teeth and a mischievous smile at him. "I'm literally so into you why would you think otherwise?"

"You have seen me right?" Yuto looks down at the guy and gestures to himself, "I have a resting bitch face and I wear black all the time. I scare people when I walk into a room. I just had a fight with your roommate."

"You confronted my dumb friend who thought he was doing good by making the guy he likes despise him despite you hating confrontations. I've seen you with the seagulls. You don't scare a lot of people with your majestic fear of the white buggers."

Yuto hangs his head, defeated. All that's left of his dignity had gone through the door. He stupidly assumed a cute boy to be straight and now the guy had to hunt him down to explain to his thick skull that he's not. 

"I am so so sorry. Please deem me worthy enough of a date," he bemoans and looks down at Hyunggu who is smiling widely. Yuto feels a bit out of breath looking at something so bright and gentle. The thumps in his heart is an indication. That or he's slowly getting a stroke.

His phone blares. Wooseok on the other end is screaming about Yan An getting out of bed and getting into a fistfight with Yeo Changgu and _you gotta see this Adachi_. Yuto casts an apologetic look at Hyunggu and quickly puts on shoes, heading out the door.

"You have my number. Text me a date," Hyunggu has the nerve in him to put a hand on his shoulder, looking completely unphased doing so. Meanwhile Yuto is blubbering and he's only hearing _you have my numbe_ r.

"I do?"

"I texted you just then," Hyunggu gestures to the pocket of his jeans. "Stop your friend from killing mine. I need to have the honour of doing that first."

"How did you even get my number," Yuto cranes his head back to ask the boy as he's being pushed onto the road.

"You're on many people's blacklists. I reached out for Hwitaek hyung and he gave it to me readily."

 _"Fucking traitor,"_ he mutters under his breath. "Can you go out on a Saturday?"

"Go Yuto-yah," Hyunggu smiles at him. "Saturday is more than fine."

 

"Where were you?" Jinho demands as he arrives to Yan An screaming at a deadass terrified Changgu.

"Just somewhere hyung," he shrugs.

He feels the text vibrates in his pocket.

 

**puppy child:**

_the amusement park, yes?_

**me:**

_dont decide things by urself_

**puppy child:**

_okay the park it is_

 

He pockets his phone, unable to stop the grin on his face. Wooseok throws a piece of bread at him  _stop being creepy you murderer stop your friend from committing illegal homicide._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yan An and Yuto are platonic soulmates and I live for their friendship as international children.


	5. Maintain consistent emo edgelord aesthetics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Bitch, how do I know that you're not making this date up?" Wooseok, when he's not done with Yuto, is about the Most Extra Thing next to fake pockets on suit jackets. What are they there for? You don't need them. 
> 
> "I have photographic proof. Don't belittle me," he stabs a finger at his friend who gives him a look and falls back onto Shinwon's bed, arms outspread. 
> 
> Wooseok mumbles something that sounds like you're capable of getting someone's numbers now. But ruder and with more swear words.
> 
> "What's wrong?" Shinwon walks into Yuto pulling onto Wooseok's fingers and the other boy kicking him in the stomach. "Boys."
> 
> "Ya, check my phone why don't you!" He throws the device onto Wooseok's stomach who sits up in pain, clutching his gut. Shinwon sighs.
> 
> "Damaging him will probably minimise the chance of him being able to read your texts," Shinwon sits on the edge of the desk, drawing his feet under his thighs. 
> 
> "Probably," Yuto nods. "Just probably."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back and finishing this fic???
> 
> Yes. I have finished. Thank you all for sticking through with the actual first finished multichapter story I've done for AO3. I am happy with how it turns out and I hope you readers find it the same. Please do tell me if you want like a sequel thing for the Wooseok/Shinwon mating dance whatever, Yan An and Changgu's conciliation or Hyojong and Hwitaek's relationship status, because I will write them if there are people who want to read those things.
> 
> Overall, thank you for sticking around and I hope the fluff isn't too much!

Yuto doesn't remember committing mass genocide via ethnic cleansing or dropping a nuclear bomb on any country, but right now it feels like he had and karma is punishing him for his sins.  
  
He arrived home to see a deadass terrified Changgu getting shrieked at by Yan An who is like 187 cm of unleashed fury if you poked him all his chakra points. Which Changgu did. Shinwon had taken pity on the poor lad and tried valiantly to pull Yan An away, but not before letting Jinho have a go at Changgu as well. _That_ was a sight.   
  
The most effective scolding was from Hongseok and Hwitaek. They stood behind Jinho, arms crossed and staring with All The Disappointment Their Eyes Could Muster.   
  
Yuto should feel bad but he didn't. The bitch made Yan An cry. Hyunggu was this close to decking him across the face. No one get to disrespect his squad - that's just not on.  
  
Plus it's actually hilarious to see Changgu getting dragged by Yan An. Wooseok videoed everything. Yuto himself sent all the photographic proof to Hyunggu in case Changgu screwed up again and there's this reminder of what Yan An will and can do to deter him.   
  
Hyunggu then proceeded to ask him something and he, the whipped bastard, the Worst Liar in History who kept insisting that he is as cold as liquid nitrogen and as unfeeling as anaesthetics, had said yes.  Even without looking at the message. When Changgu was escorted out by Hyojong and Wooseok demanded him to tell everything, he ended up just literally gushing about the cute boy who decked him across the face but is so cute and they're going on a date and _finally someone is loving me for who I am Wooseokkie stop your stupid laugh I'll fight you bitch._  
  
Shinwon gracefully herded Jinho, Hongseok, Hyojong and Hwitaek out, telling them their duties as responsible hyungs had ended and _you need to go to class you have a class Hongseok hyung stop pinching me._  
  
"Bitch, how do I know that you're not making this date up?" Wooseok, when he's not done with Yuto, is about the Most Extra Thing next to fake pockets on suit jackets. What are they there for? You don't _need_ them.   
  
"I have photographic proof. Don't belittle me," he stabs a finger at his friend who gives him a look and falls back onto Shinwon's bed, arms outspread.   
  
Wooseok mumbles something that sounds like _you're capable of getting someone's numbers now_. But ruder and with more swear words.  
  
"What's wrong?" Shinwon walks into Yuto  pulling onto Wooseok's fingers and the other boy kicking him in the stomach. "Boys."  
  
"Ya, check my phone why don't you!" He throws the device onto Wooseok's stomach who sits up in pain, clutching his gut. Shinwon sighs.  
  
"Damaging him will probably minimise the chance of him being able to read your texts," Shinwon sits on the edge of the desk, drawing his feet under his thighs.   
  
_"Probably,"_ Yuto nods. "Just probably."  
  
"He's tough, he can handle a phone to his stomach," the redhead shrugs. Wooseok whines and kicks him too.  
  
"Omo omo hyung _look,"_ his friend sits up, face lighting up like he got given  unlimited access to curry, "I'm not reading this wrongly am I?"  
  
"Well he said yes," Shinwon shifts closer and scans the phone's screen. Flicks his eyes up to Yuto, flicks down at the screen.   
  
"Yuto-yah," Shinwon begins gently. Yuto is on edge. "Since when do you like pink?"  
  
"What."  
  
Wooseok only shows him a screen. Yuto can see Hyunggu's many kaomojis and a few lines of teasing slash flirting. He squints. Where is the pink love coming fro-

  
**cute puppy boy:**

_so we should coordinate our clothes on the date_

**me:**  

_ye sure y not_

**cute puppy boy:**

_i was thinking matching pink. that okay with you?_

**me:**

_all g_

  
  
Devastated is the furthest thing he feels. He transcended the realm of normal reactions. All systems have shut down. He's a gone man.  
  
Wooseok is laughing so much he's crying, smashing his nose onto Shinwon's shoulder. Shinwon navigates around so that he catches Wooseok's head with his sternum instead, hand in midair to catch Wooseok's head.  
  
He's shocked, but not too shocked. He can see the way Wooseok snuggle into Shinwon's chest, this _close_ to settling there. If you hit your nose onto someone's chest you should not linger for half a minute or so and stay there. Shinwon's hands twitch nervously above Wooseok's hair, but they don't make contact. It's almost comical but it's mostly sad.  
  
"Guys, please. Help. You can continue your weird courtship mating dance whatever later."  
  
Shinwon flinches and tries to push Wooseok off. But Shinwon is a pure soul descended from heaven in a chariot driven by pegasi. He doesn't understand the sheer evilness that Wooseok harbours.  
  
Wooseok turns around and swears at him in Japanese between his teeth, smile fixed on his face. He's gripping the other boy's hand and gives Yuto a fake smile.  
  
"Jealous, Adachi?"  
  
Shinwon flinches and tries for a reassuring smile, hand twitching like he's not sure if he should hold on or let go. He feels bad for Shinwon. He really does. Wooseok is an extra drama queen and a half. There's no appeal whatsoever except that he has the height and good hair.  
  
"Don't be, friend. Your prince charming is coming soon enough," his friend reaches a hand to pat his knee condescendingly. Yuto knees the appendage away before it can serve its purpose.   
  
"Fuck you. I'm the prince."  
  
"Let's be honest here. If anyone is the prince it's Hyunggu-ssi, not your emo ass."  
  
He rolls his wrist. "Hyung let the man-tower go I will punch him into next week." Shinwon gives him a disapproving look. "Don't stop me hyung."  
  
"Gender roles are really just societal constructs," Shinwon placates, disentangling from Wooseok, eyes flashing gratefully. Yuto waves it off. "Both of you can be princes."  
  
"But he's such a damsel in distress. I can see it," Wooseok insists, almost whining. It's cute but like. He's 190 cm of eyeliner and angry deep voice before his coffee. Not really Yuto's cup of tea.  
  
"Yuto can be whatever he wants," Shinwon fences the tall kid aside. "I still think you should wear a pink jumper. They're not expensive," he continues.  
  
Yuto shoots down the idea.  
  
"A full on pink suit ?"   
  
Yuto looks like Shinwon had asked him to burn his house to the ground.  
  
"Do it Adachi oh my god," Wooseok cries and claps his hands like a maniacal seal. "Do it for Hyunggu!"  
  
"No. Fuck you and your shitty ideas."

 

Jinho ends up guilt tripping him into it anyways. Having Hongseok in a tank top crossing his arms behind him and generally glaring at Yuto might have been a major factor in his compliance. Those biceps are fucking _huge._ Looking at them almost made him cry.  
  
"This one?" Hwitaek shows him a picture. He twitches.  
  
"Uh. No thanks."  
  
"You gotta pick something, kid. It's in three days," Hyojong drawls.   
  
"Pink is the last colour I would wear like ever," he whines, "please kill me."  
  
"Well you'll die sooner or later, might as well do it now. If you like him enough to actually fess up to then you shouldn't have any issues wearing a pale pink jacket."  
  
"You know hyung," he turns to look at the blonde lounging behind them, "if you hadn't fought Yan An I would've thought you were cooler earlier."  
  
"Shut the fuck up and thank me for existing."  
  
Hwitaek shoves then both thumbs ups and his sunshine smile. Hyojong turns his head, but there's a smile there.  
  
  
"I suggest a pink choker," Yan An adds the topping on the cake. Yuto stares at his friend in horror. "You would look excellent in a pink choker."  
  
Wooseok falls off his chair laughing, laughter descending into the realm of witchy cackles. Shinwon clutches his notebook like it might stop him from laughing, eyes bulging from barely contained laughter sitting at the back of his throat. Hongseok tilts his head.  
  
"You don't have to if you feel uncomfortable in it," he reasons. Yuto turns quickly to beg for mercy. The peer pressure is killing him.  
  
"Except for the pink jacket. That one you have to wear."  
  
"Traitors. All of you."  
  
  
Jinho knocks on the door, out of patience at the sheer amount of time his dongsaeng had taken to put on a t-shirt,  jeans and a jacket.   
  
"If anyone laugh I will step on your face," Yuto hollers from beyond the door.  
  
"I saw you getting decked across the face and crying when Haku died. There is nothing that can make me laugh at you now," Jinho sighs. Yuto screams something about _rude hyungs_ and _I thought you have my back_.  
  
The doorknob turns. Wooseok and Hwitaek crowd around the crack to ~~laugh~~ look at Yuto. Neither one say anything for a whole minute, blocking the door way.  
  
"What the fuck," Wooseok says, not moving. Yuto shoves him aside.  
  
"Damn," Yan An laughs. "Yuto you look so good!"  
  
He's uneasy in clothes that deviate too far from his usual blacks, the occasional grey and dark crimson, or sometimes a tolerable light grey. He might look good or whatever (his friends all seem to lie unanimously at some point whenever he's nervous to make him feel better), but he doesn't feel good. The jeans are daring him to spill food on them. He can hear their taunts from beyond the stitching. The shirt fits, surprisingly as he has the musculature of a mantis, so Shinwon had to do his tailoring magic and fitted it to his build.   
  
The pink jacket, to his utter dismay, actually doesn't look _that_ bad. Granted, all of the fake friends he has forced him into buying it, but it's not like it's hot or neon pink or whatever annoyingly bright shades out there. It's a soft cotton candy shade that is tolerable on his shoulders. There are no rashes breaking out yet.   
  
Yan An the fucking snitch knows he loves his chokers. A pink one shouldn't matter. Much. He actually wanted to cry when Hyojong pulled out a crimson velvet band and Hongseok had to step in, pushing the blonde away. Jinho gave him a thin band with a small bell instead, which low-key felt like he's a dog getting walked by Hyunggu.   
  
"Why do I have to wear the choker?" He grumbles, shuffling his feet. Jinho is still blinking too much to focus on him.  
  
"The choker makes you hotter," Shinwon comments for the sake of alleviating awkwardness.   
  
"Not like he wasn't hot from the beginning," Hwitaek argues for him. Yuto gives him a grateful smile. Hwitaek beams at him.  
  
"He's a fucking troll, what do you mean?" Yan An snorts. "Ugly with a capital U."  
  
Hyojong stops him from committing murder. Just barely. He throws an obscene gesture to Yan An behind Hyojong's head and his friend cackles.   
  
"But actually, how the hell do you look good in light colours," Jinho grouses, hands in his hair. "Pink suits you."  
  
"Well I don't suit it so I guess I'm set for a one sided relationship," he answers back, throwing things inside his bag.  
  
"I genuinely thought you were decent to begin with. Not like too hot or good-looking, but decent," Hongseok jerks a thumb at him.  
  
"Cheers hyung."  
  
"But then you pull this stunt. How are we supposed to react?"  
  
"What are you guys on about..-" Hwitaek gives him a mirror. His eyes almost roll off from their sockets.  
  
"I see what you mean now," he nods back. His forehead is that nice? He has legs?  And more than okay facial features?  
  
"Hyunggu is going to have a heart attack," Wooseok giggles, but creepily. Jinho hits him on the knees.   
  
"Boo hoo you bitch," he snarks back, turning to leave. "Okay I'm off, I'm gonna be late. Don't call unless it's genuinely an emergency. My phone will be on silent."  
  
"Walk on the outside of the road!" Hongseok calls out.  
  
"Pull his chair out for him!" Jinho adds.  
  
"Buy flowers buy flowers," Yan An whoops.  
  
"Just go already," Hyojong's voice grouses. "Be nice or I'm coming onto you with a knife."  
  
He hops on the bus, waving jaggedly back.

 

He doesn't know who smile wider between Hyunggu and him, but they are both beaming at each other when they make eye contact and Hyunggu is running at him and there are too many things he's carrying wait don't jump-

Hyunggu miraculously skids to a stop before they crashed and his bouquet is ruined. The boy in front of him is in a pink jumper with sweater paws and Yuto tries to hold his coos inside but they break out when Hyunggu looks up at him and he's full on cooing softly at the boy.

"I didn't think you'll show up today in pink," Hyunggu accepts the bouquet gracefully, long fingers clutching the stems tight. "They're so nice!"

The white carnations, anemone and yellow chrysanthemums agree with that assessment. 

"They did take a while to choose. Once we're nearly done I'll tell you what they mean," he tells Hyunggu. The brunette stops smiling, eyes wide. Yuto starts to subtly panic. Was that not a thing people say on dates oh fuck it'll be awkward-

"There's a meaning behind all of these? You did this for me?" Hyunggu looks at him like he's a rare species of human. Yuto shifts awkwardly. "Don't even date me, just marry me already."

"Stop," he whines and pushes Hyunggu in front of him, "you're ruining my tough and edgy image."

"You are tough and edgy," the other boy agrees, "just not with me."

"You are absolutely correct but I'm still bitter about that fact."

 

Thirty odd rides, three tubs of cotton candy and bad hot dogs later, Yuto pulls Hyunggu into the rickety Ferris Wheel which breaches a lot of health hazards on his list. He eyes the screws with all the judgement he can muster and Hyunggu promises that it'll only be one ride and then they'll get off.

"If we die I'm haunting the guy who makes this atrocity," Yuto mutters pointedly under his breath. Hyunggu giggles and squeezes inside, pinkie linked with his.

"Don't be so pessimistic, Yuto-kun," Hyunggu slips into Japanese easily. Yuto still crinkles his face at the creaking sounds the compartment makes.

"It's not pessimism it's dogmatism Hyunggu-yah," he retorts and sits down gingerly. "I think I'm meeting my end here. It's been a great date, you're a great date, I'm sorry we're dying before a second date is a thing. Goodbye, you're the second best thing that ever happened to me."

"Second best?" Hyunggu giggles. "Should I be flattered that you're honest enough to rank me after whatever?"

"Yes, because the best thing that happened to me was baseball. We have a very committed relationship - it's running on 8 years strong. But you'll get there soon if you try," Yuto nods and dodges as Hyunggu squeals and hits his arm. "You will never tear us apart!"

"You were so awkward last week," Hyunggu settles down and toes his shin, "I was scared I had to coax you into speaking more than three sentences to me."

"I think it's more of the life or death situation that brought about this change. I'm not speaking casually to you like this ever again," he reassures the boy, "because we'll be dead."

"Why did I ever think you're cool and manly?"

"Because I am. I ooze manliness. Also it's virtuous to stick to what I promised and I think that speaks about my masculinity than black clothing can," he shrugs. Hyunggu smiles at him, close-lipped but breathtaking, and Yuto forgets how to breathe.

"Uh," he's sweating under this jacket, "well, in case we don't make it."

"We will make it, don't be like that," Hyunggu leans forward, "I'm waiting for whatever it is that you'll do."

"And because I'm whipped for you and you're super hot and cute," he rushes, Japanese and Korean mixing confusedly. "Please be my boyfriend. Or consider it."

"Only when you tell me what the flowers mean. And take me on three more dates," Hyunggu grins at him, eyes disappearing. Yuto feels strangely elated, the feeling extremely close to when Hyunggu decked him across the eye but this time it's in his chest. He wheezes out a breath.

"Well, the yellow chrysanthemums mean precious one," he shouldn't look at Hyunggu, but he is and the boy's eyes are wide, bright like the amusement park's lights. "White carnations mean sweet and lovely and innocence. The anemones mean anticipation, because I didn't know your answer when I bought it, so I thought I'll let you in on the secret of the flowers so in case you might want to-"

He's rambling but Hyunggu cuts him off.

"Ambrosia."

"That's love is reciprocated," he rattles off, "oh wait."

Hyunggu only smiles at him, face soft under the shitty yellow lights of the park. 

"Can you come closer," he swallows.

"We're not kissing on the first date."

"Don't be vulgar Hyunggu-yah I said nothing of the sort," his face is close to Hyunggu's face now. It's a blessing, breathing the same air as a literal god. He touches their foreheads together, hand holding Hyunggu's. "I'm clumsy and I have two dollars in my bank account, but I'll wear matching couple outfits with you and make cupcakes for your sister's birthday and nag you until you sleep. I'll reenact stupid movie scenes with you. I'll stand with you on all occasions, unless it's like murder."

Hyunggu giggles.

"Even if the ceiling caves on itself, I'll still stand by you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you laugh a bit after reading this!
> 
> @jarofactonbell


	6. Side story 1: How will I hold your hands when you lose all of your fingers?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shinwon hiccups, "I'm sorry for running away and being a general idiot when I should've just taken my chances. I'm sorry you had to wait for me. I'm sorry for a lot of things Wooseokkie."
> 
> He looks up, into intense dark eyes.
> 
> "But I'm not sorry when I say I love you. I really do. So so much."
> 
> Wooseok grins back and bumps his forehead with Shinwon, grinning. 
> 
> "I have a deep regard for you as well, hyung."
> 
> Hyunggu screeches in alarm when Shinwon shoves Wooseok down the steps in front of Jinho's dorm and throws a shoe at the tall boy, ears red. Yuto just hugs Hyunggu to his chest, cooing softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back and I bring you some extra scenes. Maybe short ones but where's the fun in that?
> 
> Shinwon is my definition of Mum Friend.
> 
> This fic is finished, these are just extra scenes that are told from a different perspective. Also there is Yuki/Yuno whatever ship names you have for Hyunggu and Yuto. Please enjoy and throw me comments when you especially enjoy it!

"Yananie, you need to eat," Shinwon tells the younger boy who is bent over his work, muttering fervently in a rush of Mandarin and Korean, with a dash of angry Japanese words. He suppresses the urge to force food down the boy's throat. "You've been at it for four hours now, not counting this morning."

"Hyung just a bit more," the boy replies.

"Drink something at least," Shinwon tells him before heading out, "water, not caffeine."

Yan An puts back the coffee cup and tries to stare at him innocently. When Shinwon makes no move to budge from the door, the younger boy gets up sluggishly to pick up the pitcher of untouched water Shinwon placed on the corner of his table since 8 this morning.

"Now go walk around for five minutes. Stop cramming."

"But hyung-"

"No is no. Take a walk, Yan."

 

"Boys are so stupid," he tells Hongseok who nods even without context, "especially the younger ones."

"Is this Wooseok or Yan An?" Jinho joins them with his lunch and promptly sits half on top of Hongseok who shifts to pull him safely onto one thigh.

"Uh," Shinwon blinks, "probably both?"

Jinho pushes his bangs out of his eyes, "Is he eating?"

"I already forced him into eating," he opens the lid of his container, cherry tomatoes freshly washed, gleaming under natural light. "I made him march around the apartment twice before letting him go back to studying."

"Any idea what happened?" Hongseok feeds Jinho a bite of pasta. Jinho's aggressive teeth grinding does not deter Shinwon from answering.

"Changgu, most definitely," at Jinho's nod, he stabs a fork into a slice of capsicum, "they had a fight of some sort?"

"Yan An has the tolerance of a rock in the middle of the desert, " Hongseok snorts, "he's friends with Wooseok and Yuto."

Jinho pulls a distasteful face and turns to his boyfriend, betrayed, "It has olives."

Hongseok is picking out olives as he deliberates a response as to why Yan An would leave. Changgu isn't as arrogant or annoying as half the people on campus, and he's at a loss as to why Yan An who is normally cheerful and outside interacting with people, is inside and refusing to talk to anyone who tried to contact him. 

"Don't you have a class or some other thing with Changgu?" Hongseok tells him without looking up, "Ask him then."

Shinwon considers it. He doesn't hate confrontation as much as Yuto does, although he does try to evade the possibility of it. One statistics class won't be much.

"I'll see what I can do," he sighs, "it's just, he's not himself. He's trying to forget whatever happened."

"Aren't you doing the same thing as well?" Jinho points a fork at him, "Mister I-took-your-drunk-underage-ass-home-while-you're confessing-your-love-for-anime-while-gazing-into-your-eyes?"

Hongseok looks up at him, amazed at this new development, his mouth doing a weird thing between a smile and a smirk. He colours, excuses on the tip of his tongue, but he swallows them back down, admitting the truth in his hyung's words. Jinho is blunt, but he doesn't lie. Hongseok puts aside what possibly are the last olives and places Jinho back on the bench gently, reaching over to pat the back of Shinwon's hands. Shinwon smiles tiredly at his hyung who taps his hands three times and leans back into Jinho.

"I think you still need to tell him, like, soon."

"Maybe after Changgu, hyung," he sits up, "I will get that done now. I'll see you both later."

 

"What happened at that party?" Hongseok asks, mandarin slices in between his teeth. Jinho is peeling the fruit of its skin rather aggressively, eyebrows pinched.

"Wooseok's drink got spiked and Shinwon drove him back."

"That cannot be all that happened," he deadpans. His hyung sighs, reaching to push bangs away from his eyes but cringing as the mandarin juices run down his wrist. Hongseok takes out his tissues, cleaning the fingers quietly.

"Shinwon might have followed Yuto to Wooseok's underground rap sessions and very much obviously fell in love with the eyeliner boy with rock band chains on the belt loops of his jeans," Jinho scoffs, with no malice. "So when Yan An asked them both to come with him to a party the music kids throw, Shinwon agreed straight away. I think Yan An knew the whole time, that's why he purposefully asked Shinwon and not Hwitaek to be the designated driver. They're at the party, screaming millenial music blasting on too expensive sound system, Yuto drinking orange juice and Red Bull and singing Fantastic Baby, Yan An crying in a corner because he's an emotional drunk, Wooseok trying to gather them both and get the hell out. He somehow drank whatever he had in his hand and nearly crumbled if Shinwon hadn't been nearby and catching him."

"How'd you know so much?" Hongseok frowns as Jinho rolls his eyes. "Were you there?"

"Hyojong was, that's how I know."

"You spend way too much time with your ex's new boyfriend."

"Hongseok, Hui and I never went out, stop with your little theory."

"Okay, fine, sure. Continue," the other boy waves his concern aside and Jinho coos over the jealous spat. He pinches Hongseok's cheeks before resuming speech.

"So after the catch and fall thing, Shinwon called Hwitaek and asked him to take the other two kids home. He himself took Wooseok back because he gave the car keys to Hui and they both walked back in the ass cold bitter November winds blowing in their ears."

"He walked Wooseok home, in that weather?"

"I'm not the one controlling the weather here, so don't get cranky with me, mister."

"Fine, he walked slash dragged the kid back. Typical Shinwon mothering the kids. What's new?" 

"He has really pretty eyes, hyung, and he gets really clingy when he's drunk," Jinho puts on a squealing voice. Hongseok scrunches his face in disapproval and Jinho smacks him on the arm. "And my goodness, he's so tall! What a wonderful specimen of a person."

"Shinwonnie does not talk like that, and he hates the cold, so much. I took him ice skating one time and he refused to come outside during winter with me for two years."

"And listen, listen, apparently," Jinho leans in closer, eyes wide, "he listened to Wooseok drunkenly professing his love to anime. It was cute, or some other sappy 4 am texts I didn't get to read. They had a staring into your eyes moment under the night sky, in the middle of winter. It was sickeningly romantic and straight out of a historical drama."

Letting it stew for a moment, they both stare at each other, one triumphant, one confused and mildly disgusted. Hongseok's mouth is pulled down. "Shinwon doesn't do romance. Shinwon doesn't do love in general. Shinwonnie is ace. He thinks the concept of love is synonymous with sex, that's why he doesn't want to be 'in love'."

Jinho sits back, morose,

"That's why doesn't make sense that he would first of all think of something along those words, then verbalise it to me later at 4 in the morning on a Saturday. I want to say it's love at how many sights he had of Wooseok, but then I can't, because I can't see into his head. You know, he's trying to suppress it. He thinks it's not healthy and he's scared or whatever. Whenever I bring it up he shuts me down. Yan An and him, they're both doing the same thing."

The taller boy cards through Jinho's hair gently, "Don't confront him about it. Shinwon screws things up, big, when he's stressed or confronted. Remember graduation?"

They both cringe. Shinwon broke his nose while climbing up the podium because he catapulted from his seat onto the stairs and fell on his face. It was a mess of blood and a rush to sick bay afterwards.

"What now?"

Hongseok pets his boyfriend's hair. "We don't interfere. It's his own issues that he needs to resolve."

 

Changgu proves hard to find. 

Shinwon knows where he approximately sits every lesson, but when he steps into the lecture hall, there's no trace of the raven haired boy. Shinwon doesn't regret not wearing his glasses normally, but now he does. His contact lenses are inside his bag, but he has about three minutes to find a seat before the professor walks in.

Yeo Changgu comes crashing onto the door at one minute to 9 and scans around for a seat. There's one beside Shinwon and he quickly runs up the stairs and next to the brunette, who's diligently filling in his planner for the day.

Shinwon looks to his left and jumps a bit. Changgu gives him a sheepish smile, waving awkwardly. Shinwon's mouth does a weird grimace smile thing and he quickly gives a firm handshake to the boy before he starts to outright say something rude.

He can only see Yan An slumped over design portfolios and literature assignments, handwritten, in his apartment, while Yeo Changgu is freshly groomed and smells like CK's newest forest woodcutter cologne whatever.

"I'm Ko Shinwon," he introduces himself, quiet. "I thought you wouldn't make it."

"Oh, you've seen me around? I'm Yeo Changgu. Sorry, my roommate couldn't find his bus ticket so I drove him to his dance class," Changgu rubs the back of his neck timidly. Shinwon's ears ring with the words roommate and drove.

On one hand he's high-key annoyed that this punk already put aside whatever spat he had with Yan An to get a new roommate, but on the other hand he's also touched that he risked being late to drive the kid to dance class.

"You're rooming with Yan An right, the Chinese kid?" He asks tentatively, because people tend to know these kinds of things, but Yan An is inside his apartment for four days now and the grapevine hasn't gotten wind of the relocation yet.

Changgu flinches.

"We had an argument and he moved to live with a friend off-campus," the boy answers honestly, "I wish I could apologise for what I said."

"What did you say?"

"He came out to me and," Changgu either doesn't see Shinwon staring intently at the side of his head and twiddles his thumbs, "told me he has feelings for me."

Shinwon doesn't even have time to choke.

"And I'm a shitty person, so I thought that he could do better than me, but it was so sudden that I couldn't react to anything rationally, so I told him I'm not into men. Then I told him to fuck off."

Shinwon chokes now. " _You what?"_

"It was such a shitty thing to do and I'm scared of approaching him now because of what I said. Yananie," Shinwon narrows his eyes at the boy, "is a strong lad, but even my words hurt him."

"No sh-," Shinwon slaps a hand over his mouth, blinking widely at how close he came to swearing. Changgu pays him no mind, staring off into space. It's truly a magnificent piece of work, the boy's jawline and his eyeshapes, but dear Lord and heaven, he is _dumb._ Shinwon shakes with disbelief. There's good intention, but throwing homophobic slurs at the number one supporter of No More Discrimination could've gone very badly for Changgu. Yuto got punched many many times for saying many many trivial things and Hongseok himself got a swipe from Yan An one time. The fact that Yan An willingly swallowed down his pride, belief and anger for such a valiantly heroic idiot makes the situation more depressing than funny. Shinwon breathes in, all the worries and heartbreak after tucking Yan An into bed for the past week seeping into his bones.

"Pardon me, but. What. Were. You. Even. Thinking? Everyone has a breaking point. You can't just," he stabs a finger at a frankly stunned Changgu who shuffles back on the bench. "You're so dumb."

"Do you know Yananie?"

"Stop calling him that! You lost close honorifics privilege. Call him by his name only," he tries to keep the anger inside him contained but his ears are boiling with loops of Yan An's 'I'm fine hyung'. "I've been looking after him for a week and he's a wreck. A terrible, not eating, motionless wreck. Your words did the opposite of what you want to do. He hates himself now. How many gay people do you think are there on campus? On this nation? On this continent?"

"Statistically speaking there are a lot," someone from behind them comments and when Changgu turns to give them a look, a row of boys turn to their phones, pretending they're not eavesdropping at all. 

"My friend came out to you and the first words you threw back to his face were 'Fuck off I'm not gay'. How would that make you feel huh?"

Changgu doesn't answer him. Shinwon turns to face his lecturer, mouth set in a tight line.

Ko Shinwon is a calm and mellow man who prefers the most peaceful solution in any disputes. He goes to church and he sings in choir with Hwitaek hyung. No one hates him.

But if there are two things he doesn't tolerate, it's people hurting his friends and him being in a situation where he cannot absolve without resorting to confrontation.

One he can sort of fix without it being too much of a hassle. The other one, well, Shinwon is notorious for always fixing other people's problems and not his own. It's his own damn fault for being soft to Yuto's puppy eyes. The kid was babbling something about his brother from another mother and they are connected on a spiritual level. He hung back in the rear while Yuto cheered for his spiritual brother and nearly fell off the wall when the kid came back with an even taller kid, both bickering and slapping each other.

Shinwon had his fair share of crushes. Just because he's asexual doesn't mean he doesn't feel love. But after the age of twelve, the confessions he got from girls were always a monotonous chants of 'I can be whatever you want me to be, oppa. I'll be good' and he just does not want to treat people or have people treat him in a relationship as a sexual contract. He had more crushes and perhaps fell into a slight obsession of other people, but reminded himself when he was close to confessing that it would end up as a sexual contract, not a committed companionship.

Jung Wooseok had on eyeliner that night, leather jacket and tight pants hugging his slender legs. He always has an intimidating stare, dark brown eyes picking at Shinwon. Shinwon himself is a sucker for intense eyes and allowed this fascination of this tall mysterious stranger blossomed in the hour the three of them got food together. It was just that, a curiosity. Nothing more. He might have mentioned the boy with the piercing stare to three of his friends, but in the end, they won't meet again. It'll stay just a crush.

When Yan An called him up a week after, babbling about how the music children are planning a party and Jinho hyung is forcing all of us to come please drive us back hyungie, he agreed, not that there was much persuasion to be had. It was crowded and he stuck near the door, where suddenly a familiar height sagged and nearly crumbled onto the ground had him diving forward and catching the person.

Jung Wooseok stared up at him and grinned toothily at him.

Doing a mental headcount of all his friends there, he called Hwitaek with one hand while cradling Wooseok's head with the other hand, soft curly black hair flattening onto his palm. With Yuto and Yan An so far away and Hwitaek a decent ten minutes drive away, Shinwon hauled Wooseok onto his shoulder and guided the boy out the door, walking him back to wherever he lives.

"Wooseok-ah, you have to tell me where you live otherwise we'll be in this wind until you wake up," he tussled the boy's arm and a leg bumped into his. There was a jingle of keys and Shinwon dug them out to come to the Death Note apple keychain he gave Yuto and his roommate when they cut keys at the start of the year.

"You live with Yuto. Of course you do," Shinwon turned to look at the sky as if to blame it for his misfortune. "I legit thought that we won't meet again. Why me?"

Jung Wooseok's drunken rambling didn't help as well. Apparently the boy had been asking around for the redhead who's friend with Yuto, his bro in spirit and life who refused to disclose the identity of the friend. Shinwon since had dyed his hair, got an apartment off-campus and saw Yuto once before his tests. They both couldn't meet normally, but somehow coincided on that night.

He knew Yan An and Hyojong together in the same room didn't help. That's amusing, because Yan An's first ever impression of Hyojong was overly bad and they had a fistfight behind the science building, but now they're best buddies setting up parties and subtly coercing people who have crushes on each other together.

"Hyung you're so nice. Let me walk home by myself," the boy whined, head dropping onto Shinwon's head heavily. He gripped tighter onto Wooseok's bicep, steering him to the middle of the footpath.

"Be careful. It'll only be ten more minutes, Seok-ah," he reassured the boy softly, eyes on the stumbling steps, not on the alcohol-heavy breath on his hair. Even with that, whatever Wooseok put on himself didn't smell like a shower of aftershave and Lynx products. He smelt like talcum powder.

"You're nice and pretty as well. Like, why. I want to look like you."

"No you don't, Seokkie. One foot, then the other. Step forward. That's it."

"Hyung~," the boy pouted and stopped, swinging them both on their feet, "I'll be fine."

"You can barely even stand," he snorted and gripped Wooseok tightly by the elbow. "If I let go, you'll fall."

"No I won't. Let go."

"No. It's three minutes away. Let's keep walking," he moved closer to support the boy again but Wooseok grabbed him by the shoulder, intense eyes boring into his. 

"How come we never meet?"

"Because I have different classes and I live off-campus", he explained patiently, trying to not let his hands tremble when they grasp the boy by the elbow to prise him off. Wooseok frowned, nose scrunching.

"Liar. You see Yan An hyung and Yuto all the time. Be honest. You don't like me right?"

"That's not it-"

"Is it because of my eyes? People say I look really scary when all I do is open my eyes. Do you have my eyes, hyung?"

"No, no, your eyes are beautiful. You're a wonderful man, Wooseokkie. Don't think like that."

"So how come you keep avoiding me? I thought we were gonna hang out after you went to my rap sessions?"

He was guilty of those. He went to every Wooseok performance after the first one, but never say hi to the boy when he finished. Somehow, people in the underground scene knew his name by the second session and began relaying this information to Wooseok. Or so Hyojong said.

"Wooseok-ah, I'm really sorry, it's just that we had no overlap in our schedule to hang out, and I'm shy around strangers, so that's why I didn't initiate anything. Honestly, I don't hate you. I like you a lot, actually," he confessed honestly, hands now rubbing the boy's arms. Wooseok's face brightened up and he crushed Shinwon into a suffocating, alcohol-heavy hug.

"Wah I'm so glad hyung doesn't hate me! When you hang out with me I promise you my eyes aren't scary! And I'm funny! And tall!"

Shinwon laughed and pulled away, coughing softly. Wooseok grabbed his shoulder again.

"When we hung out enough, do you think you could give me a shot?"

"Of what, yeobo?"

"Of being my boyfriend."

Shinwon knows the possibility of this working out as a slight to none chance. His crush was drunk, Shinwon himself does not want to date ever. They would much better benefit from not seeing each other again. He smiled, the corners of his mouth wavering.

"How about we try being friends first? Then I'll see."

"Wahh okay hyungie love you!"

 

Wooseok woke up remembering vague contents of what happened, but later in the day Shinwon came by to check on him and he had been more than happy to be properly introduced to the now brunette boy. 

Shinwon didn't bring up that night, though he did come back home and texted Jinho about some of it. Jinho occasionally teased him about it, but had stopped since he came close to tears. 

It's been months since, but now he has Yan An to take care of, not himself. He comes second to his friends, his family. They belong to be happy where he couldn't.

 

"Did you know Changgu and Yan An made up?" Hwitaek comes up to him with a brand new blonde hair. Shinwon blinks, still reeling from anger at Changgu's classically stupid behaviour from the day before.

"I did talk to Changgu-ssi for a bit," he admits as Hui wonders aloud to why would the boy approach Yan An so suddenly after the fight. "I'm glad he saw sense."

"You're coming to the party, yes?" His hyung asks, diplomatic smile already in place. Shinwon laughs.

"Of course. Who would drive you back?"

 

"What's in this," Wooseok turns the plate, "...thing?"

"Quiche, dear. It's called a quiche," Shinwon helpfully supplies, a piece of tissue in hand to wipe at Hyojong's beer splats. "Sit unless you want more alcohol on your face," he tells the blonde.

Hyojong mumbles something and slumps next to the couch.

"Is it like," Wooseok chews, "egg? And milk?"

"Probably ham too," Shinwon pokes at the offending meat lumps. "That's really unfortunate."

"I think Hongseok hyung made vegetarian options," Wooseok steers him by the shoulder to the kitchen space, fingers light on his shirt. Shinwon stamps down the familiar nervous tick rising onto his skin, mixing heavily with the inevitability of heartbreak.

"I didn't know you know I'm vegetarian."

"Hyung please, all you ever eat are vegetables. When we watched that poacher documentary, you didn't stop crying until we bought you three tubs of ice cream."

Shinwon pinches Wooseok's fingers who cackles through the pain. They're close now, but if Shinwon hadn't been a coward, where they would much rather be.

"Here you go! I saved some for you!" Hongseok nearly throws a plate at him and Shinwon throws up his hands before Wooseok reaches around to catch the plate. Nothing fell. He gives the taller boy an appreciative hum.

Wooseok grins at him, canines flashing cheekily. Shinwon can feel the heat in his ears and the uncomfortable feeling in his chest. He takes a quiche, thanks Wooseok and walks away, breathing hard.

He shouldn't take advantage of Wooseok's kindness like that.

 

"What's going-" Hyojong pulls onto his wrist and drags him outside, to where a crying Yan An and two furiously tall giants by his side. Shinwon ushers the three first years into the backseat, Hyojong himself climbs into shotgun and Shinwon is reversing out of the driveway before he can process what's happening.

"What happened?" He asks later, when Yan An had been forced into drinking chamomile tea and put to sleep by Jinho. Wooseok sits on the couch, head in his hands, mumbling. He's not too sure if he can touch the boy.

"Changgu hit on a girl to try to prove that he's the biggest asshole on campus," Wooseok mumbles back, Gwangju-do accent rolling out. "He succeeded. Everyone hates him now."

"How are you feeling?" He asks the boy who looks up at him. Bright angry red eyes into his own.

"Like I could break his face right now."

Shinwon's hand already moved before he could think about it. He blinks and he's patting the youngest member of their friend group on the head, fingers carding through hair. Wooseok closes his eyes and stays still, breath light.

 

"Yananie," he knocks. Waits.

"Go away, hyung," the boy calls back.

Shinwon curses himself for not being able to confront his dongsaeng, instead calling Hwitaek. Five minutes later, boys pour into his apartment, crowding around the door to Yan An's bedroom. In the midst of confrontation, Yuto suddenly breaks away and runs outside, not even bothering to put on a jacket.

Wooseok squeezes his shoulder when they're together in the kitchen, making tea and coffee as the other four monitor Yan An. Shinwon slumps against the kitchen counter.

 

No one expects Yeo Changgu to run into Shinwon's apartment, a literal mess, and asking for Yan An. In the most chaotic fifteen minutes of his life, Shinwon sees about four different arguments sparking in front of the door to Yan An throwing open the door and miss punching Changgu by his ear to his hyungs glaring at Changgu in disappointment before Yan An starts screaming.

It's in Korean, Japanese and really fast Mandarin. Changgu turns about as white as a sheet.

He feels a personal victory when Changgu admits to his mistakes, saying that he should've listened to Shinwon _ages ago_ and he's been an asshole to all of them and no amount of apologies will cut it. In the most teary-eyed moment in his life, Changgu confesses to everything he's been feeling and although Jinho calls him out on the validity of his intentions, Yan An himself doesn't oppose. Doesn't say anything. Shinwon escorts Changgu out, silent. 

"Changgu-ssi," he tells the boy, "you're dumb, but you're brave. He doesn't hate you."

Changgu's eyes widen before he turns and trips. Shinwon closes the door.

Getting all the other boys to leave prove a feat. Jinho's maternal instincts rival just as fierce as his own and Hwitaek feels personally responsible for all of them. Which, by default, Hongseok and Hyojong stay too. He reminds them they have responsibilities like classes and a life, not without getting pinched at by Hongseok who genuinely wants to force thirty dishes of food down Yan An's throat, before the entourage leaves.

Wooseok touches the back of Shinwon's hand before raising his voice and teasing Yuto.

There is a look thrown over shoulders before Wooseok disappears into his bedroom.

 

He would like a little warning next time.

It's not that he doesn't know or notice the amount of times Wooseok initiates physical affection with him. Little touches, because Shinwon hates being touched suddenly, but done in a high frequency. Wooseok leans into him more, holds his pinkie, touches his hair, the back of his neck, his shoulder.

Never in front of other. Just between the two of them.

When he laughs at the doomed text Yuto sent to Hyunggu, who is about the nicest person to ever exist, according to Hyojong, he leans into Shinwon. And lingers. The talcum powder smell is amplified without alcohol, and Shinwon is dizzy. Dizzy with not knowing what to do. Dizzy with Wooseok.

His hands shake in midair and he shifts to accommodate Shinwon, but his eyes clearly call for help. Yuto looks at him, makes a jeering remark and Wooseok sits up, not before giving Shinwon an unreadable look. Then proceeds to seize his hand and clasp it to his chest, grinning at Yuto teasingly.

"Jealous, Adachi?"

Yuto looks very far away from jealousy, his mouth pulled down to what Shinwon can read as 'disgust'. Wooseok and Yuto bicker, letting Shinwon free from the grip that Wooseok had on him. He feels suffocated, even though the grip wasn't that tight.

It throbs where Wooseok touched his skin.

 

"I'm telling this to you because I care for you, I really do, hyung," Yan An puts a hand on his shoulder, life begin to dance in his eyes, "but you gotta stop whatever the fuck you're doing with Wooseokkie. Honestly. It's hurting me."

Shinwon frowns before he blushes bright red. 

"I'm not - we're not - it's not-"

"Whatever you are, hyung, talk to him. Reject him, sweep him off his feet, whatever. Just, please, stop with the staring and the hand holding, I'm going insane."

 

It's a cold day again, in spring and Hongseok attempts to drag him outside. Shinwon allows himself to be dragged as far as the porch and plants himself on the steps as the boys play soccer. Hyunggu and Yuto bickering instead of just Yuto and Wooseok, but with Yan An and Wooseok joining in. He's shivering even under three layers of clothing and gloves. Shinwon takes off one glove and hisses as his fingertips slowly turn blue. Stupid Raynaud's Syndrome. He forgets how the symptoms are especially easy to trigger since the weather fluctuates as bad as spring.

He pushes himself up, gritting through the lack of blood through his hands and staggers back inside. He forgets that his toes too are exposed to this terrible syndrome and he should have known better in dragging himself outside.

"Hyungie?" A voice asks and he stumbles, legs weakened because of lack in oxygen. A pair of hands catch him by the middle and pushes him up, turning him around. Wooseok holds onto him tightly, eyes searching for what's wrong. He freezes at the blue on Shinwon's fingers and the older boy hastily tries to explain his medical condition, not before Shinwon piles a scarf and grips his fingers tightly.

"Seok-ah, it's okay, it'll go away when I've warmed up," he whispers to the boy who frantically shoves Shinwon's fingers under his shirt.

Okay then.

"How will I hold your hands when you lose all of your fingers?" Wooseok moves closer, as close as he can now, chest pressing against his own. Only Shinwon's fingers are lacking oxygen, but his lungs suddenly feel like they don't have any oxygen in them.

"What do you mean, holding my hands?" He splutters, ears red. Wooseok presses firmer against him. "Stop coming closer, Wooseokkie."

"If I let you go, then will you run away again?" Eyes that never lose their intensity look into his, under bangs of choppy black hair. 

Shinwon doesn't reply. He grips the skin above Wooseok's heart, feeling the pulse to his blue fingertips, along the lines of his arms and to his own heart, pumping furiously to alleviate said blue fingers. Their heartbeats coincide.

"What does love mean to you?" 

"You," Wooseok answers without thinking, then blinks. "Wait, I mean like, I love you."

"How do you know that? Is it your apparent physical attraction to me?"

"We met in a shitty bar and I didn't see your face until forty five minutes later in an equally dark place. I only heard your voice. The second time we met I was pissed drunk and you walked me home even though you get blue fingers from the cold and shit. Jesus Christ hyung, you cook me food when I don't eat and drive me to venues I perform. And the only thing I care isn't Ko Shinwon has a nice face. It's Ko Shinwon has a big heart and I don't deserve him."

Shinwon pinches Wooseok under his ribs and the boy screeches two octaves above his normal voice range.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" Hyunggu rushes over, Yuto's big jacket over his shoulder. He skids to a stop when he sees Shinwon's hands up Wooseok's shirt and the youngest howling in pain.

"I have Raynaud's syndrome," Shinwon offers, but Hyunggu looks lost for context. "My fingers lose circulation, so I'm just using Wooseokkie as a human heat converter until my fingers have blood again."

"Uh okay," Hyunggu looks around, "just, yeah, I'll find Yuto now."

Shinwon turns to Wooseok, frown on his face. Before his dongsaeng even opens his mouth, Shinwon starts ranting, stomping his feet.

"I thought I had my share of dumb boys, but dear lord you're the stupidest one. No, no, I am speaking. How can you not see that you're too good for me? What part of me is good for you? I don't do love. I think it's a sexual contract. I have a weird temper and I run when there's a problem. Like legit Yuto run. You have a good heart, yeobo, why would you say that?" 

Wooseok pulls him for a hug, his face muffled by the boy's chest, hands underneath, over his heart. There are tear tracks on his face.

"So do you hyungie. Don't cry. Come on, you can't confess your undying love for me while crying," the younger boy rocks him on his feet gently, hand on the top of his head. "You're such a big crybaby."

Shinwon hiccups, "I'm sorry for running away and being a general idiot when I should've just taken my chances. I'm sorry you had to wait for me. I'm sorry for a lot of things Wooseokkie."

He looks up, into intense dark eyes.

"But I'm not sorry when I say I love you. I really do. So so much."

Wooseok grins back and bumps his forehead with Shinwon, grinning. 

"I have a deep regard for you as well, hyung."

 

Hyunggu screeches in alarm when Shinwon shoves Wooseok down the steps in front of Jinho's dorm and throws a shoe at the tall boy, ears red. Yuto just hugs Hyunggu to his chest, cooing softly.

"What do you mean he'll be fine? He just skidded like," Hyunggu resurfaces, pout on his lips making a squiggly bracket and Yuto just laughs, kissing his boyfriend's forehead. "Yah, Adachi Yuto, don't kiss me when I'm concerned over your friends."

"Shinwon hyung can't hurt a fly. Wooseok won't get hurt," Yuto grins, then muses, "maybe not much, just a bit of bruising."

"Why did he have his hands up Wooseok's shirt as well?" Hyunggu points a finger in the general direction of the two who now shove each other playfully, Shinwon still telling Wooseok off for something and the younger howling in laughter.

"Oh, he has Raynaud's syndrome. Fingers and toes turn blue when the weather's cold. I told him to wear the thermal gloves," Hongseok appears out of nowhere, tutting. "It's normal for him to touch skin when he's cold."

_"That's normal?"_

"You worry too much, puppy," Yan An croons over Hyunggu who deflates, out of reasons to be outraged. "Shinwon hyung had to touch skin to get his blood moving to his fingers otherwise it takes forever. Don't worry, Jinho hyung blew up like you did as well when he found out."

"I don't know anything anymore," Hyunggu admits, defeated.

"You think they're finally together?" Hyojong tosses his head to the advancing pair, hands linked.

"They did the whole confession on the porch on the first spring day. Of course they're together," Yuto snorts.

"But the real question is," Hongseok hums contemplatively, "which one will crack at the first month anniversary mark?"

"10,000 it's Wooseok," Yuto guesses.

"Nah it's Shinwonnie. He stresses over presents like, for so long. He wrote me three essays on why he should buy this thing for Jinho hyung, I forgot honestly, and it was because hyung won a contest," Hongseok chimes in.

"It's Hwitaek and Jinho who will stress the most," Hyojong scoffs. "Be real, kids."

"Nah," Yan An waves it aside. "No way."

 

_"What do you mean you only got him a scarf and gloves? Who raised you Jung Wooseok?"_ Jinho screeches and nearly flips a table. Yan An watches in horror as Hwitaek scrambles around the apartment, phone on speaker with Shinwon.

_"Shinwonnie, I love you and everything,"_ the blonde stresses, anything but, _"but what the actual heck are you even thinking? It's your first anniversary. You should celebrate properly."_

"Told ya," Hyojong leans back and smirks at a gaping Yuto and Hongseok.

"You're my new god," Yan An bows, still shell-shocked by the experience. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooseok's quote is take straight outta Sherman and Mr Peabody. I am not ashamed.
> 
> I tried a more serious style, but I like how it turned out. Please do tell if you prefer the melodramatic style over this serious one or the other way around.


	7. Side story 2: You just hit a guy with a bag full of dictionaries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No one bothered Hyojong, per usual, until Hwitaek insisted he became acquaintances with other people and he side-eyed the guy so much that it invalidated itself by second week because no one was scared of Hyojong anymore because everyone suddenly has tattoos and long hair and swears a lot now.
> 
> "This isn't a phase, this is an integral aspect of my identity," he remembered bemoaning to Minsoo over the phone.
> 
> "You just sound like you only discovered Tumblr at age 18," Hwitaek snorted next to him.
> 
> "Put me on speaker," Minsoo told him, "and yeobo, isn't it better if everyone normalised what you do?"
> 
> "I can't be edgy anymore," he breathed in horror, "I'll be one of the masses."
> 
> "I don't know why people bothered to be scared of you when you're just a melodramatic ladle full of angsty goodness," Hwitaek interjected. He raised a fist and glared at his friend who sneered at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (You thought this fic died, but it was just me being a perfectionist and trying to cram everything into one chapter.)
> 
> A different style of writing I guess? I probably drew inspiration from 365 Fresh. Ambiguous relationships? 
> 
> Yes.
> 
> Also you can see a pattern of me talking about people pursuing the liberal arts and being discriminated for it. I as a person who pursue literature and creative writing right now am feeling the exact same feelings and I want to portray that in this chapter. It's absolutely okay when you pursue what you love and your parents may know you very well but ultimately it's your life that you're deciding, not theirs. Don't be afraid to do what you love.

At the beginning, Hyojong is high-key a bitch.

He still is, but a part ~~lot~~ of that is because of Hwitaek.

"Seriously, Taek-ah," he sighs and tries to grab the boy who's shifting around too much even when sitting down, "you're going to break my jaw with your thigh bone if you keep on moving. My face is on your thigh. Stop."

"My thigh bone is going to break your jaw," Hwitaek repeats like he's not sure if he heard the words correctly or he doesn't believe these words can be uttered. Either way, there's a potential to mock Hyojong there and he is going to ignore it until Hwitaek gets the hint and shuts up.

"My thigh bone," the older boy snorts, "you are now to refer to me solely as thigh bone man."

Hyojong pinches the boy's leg and grumbles about stupid blondes and their lame sense of humour.

 

Hyojong is a bitch, was born a bitch, will always be a bitch.

His family didn't care too much when he began to ditch school to go places. Nor did they care that he got into countless fights and began repeating what the smoke-hazed kids around him were throwing around. Gradually he stopped coming home for dinner. He grew out his long hair, grease matting it close to his forehead, eyes losing focus. Hyojong went days on end not sleeping, face a permanent shade of off purple and tinted blue and he found a sick sense of delight when mothers pull their kids away from him.

Him being a bitch had no correlation with his falling out with his family. The tension between his parents and him was always present ever since he told them he wanted to pursue music as a career choice. He didn't want to fall apart from the people who share the same blood with him, but they crooked fingers and snarled at him, bright-eyed creatures under human skin, picking at his skin apart, looking for the blood that music flows through. They brought up the issue countless times when he's by himself, alone, a victim of the people who call him theirs. His skin didn't break in their eyes, but his eyes lost focus. Hyojong is tough when it's everyone else bashing him - he could fight back, tooth and nail. But his family rendered him hopeless and he had to escape, had to find refuge from the mockery.

"You're just a disgusting faggot," his brother told him.

"Sexuality has nothing to do with my passion in music," he sighed.

"All the gay faggots are in the music industry. Are you hoping to get a good fuck in while you're at it? Beg to success? Because that's all you're good for, Jongie, begging."

Hyojong broke his brother's jaw and stopped coming home for dinner.

 

Granted, by the time he entered high school, everybody was too afraid of him to befriend him. He's fine with that. He didn't need them to come near him like they care. He's fine by himself.

By the end of the second week, Hyojong wished he could break jaws like his brother's without legal consequences. Like Lee Hwitaek's. Just Lee Hwitaek's.

"Hyojongie, eat this."

"Hyojongie, do your homework."

"Hyojong-ah, walk with me to class."

"Hyojong-ah~"

"Hyojongie~"

"Hyo-"

**_"Yah!"_ **

Hwitaek blinked owlishly at him, wide eyes like he's done nothing wrong. Hyojong threw an obscene gesture at his face.

"That's no way to be talking to someone who's helping you pass calculus," the boy chastised him and he's this close to gauging two eyes out. He resorted to delivering a nasty kick under the table in which Hwitaek dodged artfully and the pain in his toes came suddenly and too unexpectedly for him to register.

Hyojong slammed his torso onto the table and wriggled in pain, cursing his luck.

"I think I can pass maths with or without your help, Lee. It doesn't make a difference," he gritted out through the pain. The other boy hummed like he doesn't believe on word of it. Hyojong scowled and sat up, moving his toes experimentally and wincing when the pain resurfaced.

"How's your foot, Jongie?" Hwitaek smiled innocently and reached under the table, pulling his foot over his lap. Hyojong sneered, a sour expression on his face, reluctantly letting Hwitaek take off his shoe and rubbed his sore toes.

"I'm sorry," the then natural haired guy told him sincerely.

"Really." 

"Yes really, Hyojongie. When am I not sorry?" Hwitaek jabbed an elbow into his shoulder.

"When you ran over me with your car."

"Okay I didn't react on time and you just came from behind some bushes," Hwitaek pinched his big toe, smile benevolent and not at all harmful on his face, eyes squeezing into a smile.

"I was walking on the footpath and you wanted to take a shortcut. You hit me with your headlights," Hyojong hissed through his smile, sleepy eyes pulled into a snarl.

"Do you really want to start this here, Hyojongie?" Hwitaek gestured with his head, daring him to do something drastic in the coffee shop with its many patrons milling around. When Hyojong only sat there, simpering in his misery, Hwitaek's smile split even wider on his face, reminiscent of a pleased Joker, minus all the paint and makeup. The Joker looks terrifying with all the makeup but Lee Hwitaek had always look terrifying, makeup or not.

"Stop grinning you manipulative bastard."

"But you've grown so much!"

"I will murder you in front of these people and face the death roll willingly. Do not test me Lee Hwitaek."

Hwitaek continued to aww, pinching his cheeks and toe.

 

Miraculously, by the time the end of his first year in high school, Hyojong was not only passing, but doing considerably well. Teachers praised both Hwitaek and him for putting effort into his education, although the emphasis on 'Lee Hwitaek has the power to persuade ~~annoy~~ children into studying' rang loud and clear with waving flags of fluorescent green in front of his face. 

That or Hwitaek kept mentioning it every tutoring lesson. He called it 'tutoring', Hyojong called them 'torturing'.

"Same difference anyways, Taek-ah," he waved it aside and Hwitaek went into a tangent on how vital his presence to Hyojong's 'lampless life' is to which Hyojong called bullshit on. Before or after Hwitaek, there's no difference. It's just that people were less inclined to flinch whenever Hyojong turned their way.

Given his love for music, it came as a surprise to both Hwitaek and Hyojong that he hated the music teacher. Hwitaek with his pure soul outside of tormenting Hyojong did not understand the sheer horror that he had to sit through every supplementary lesson about circle of fifths and minor scales and bars. Although he passed with a reasonable grade, Hyojong still shudders when he thinks of Mr Park Yoonsung, ruler nearby in case Hyojong stuffed up as he and Hyojong recited the circle of fifths and diminished scales like a Hitler salute. 

Hwitaek did buy him consolation ice cream after school even after Hyojong's pursuit of high school music dimmed by second year.

 

"You're good to go inside by yourself right?" Hwitaek asked him, eyes crinkled in worry, looking at the communal block.

"Don't be stupid, Taek-ah, I live with my auntie behind this block," it's a lie. His aunt lived in Gwangju all her life. She didn't even know he left home to Seoul. "It's just a shortcut," he pulled off his tie and shoved his blazer into his carrier bag. "Don't follow me."

Hwitaek stubbornly stared at him, not even budging.

"It's more dangerous if you walk with me. When you walk out back, do you think guys won't mug you?" He sighed and flicked dust onto Hwitaek's pants.

"Why would they mug me?"

Hyojong looked at Hwitaek's well-kept hair and finely polished shoes and trimmed fingernails. His teeth are straight too. His teeth are always straight. And white. Where do people even get the time to polish and whiten their teeth?

"Do you like, want an alphabetical list or a list of things from head to toes that can go wrong?" He lifted an eyebrow and the other boy pouted, excuses already sitting on his lips.

"Hwitaek, you don't belong in my world. This is where I have to draw the line."

They reached a point in their friendship? Acquaintanceship? Comradeship? To refer to each other by diminutives of their names. It stopped being 'Hyojongie' and 'Hwitaek-ah', but rather 'Jong-goon' and 'Jongie' and "Taek-ah' and 'Hui-yah'.

Hwitaek wouldn't stop bashing him when Hyojong spent an entire minute laughing as the other boy mentioned he wanted to be called 'Hui' because no one could say his name properly.

"Shut up it's a reasonable cause!" Hwitaek punched his shoulder. Hyojong didn't grace him with a verbal response, only laughed even more at his face. "Stop laughing!"

But when Hwitaek's name got mentioned in full, the other boy knew Hyojong's boundaries had been stretched as far as it could be tolerated and he stepped back. Hwitaek's eyes asked him something, but he already turned his back, stalking into the dark alleyway.

 

Hyojong regretted not taking Hwitaek with him, because there were a guy following him close behind. He could tell it's a guy because it's the same one that kept looking at him as he leave the house every morning. Hyojong walked faster, steps about a metre long each time he put a foot forward, so from the side it seemed like he's just stretching his leg forward and skipping ahead. Or getting ready for long jump by speed-walking. 

The guy's ragged breath came really close behind his head and Hyojong threw away the pretense of walking and outright sprinted. A cackle and a beat later, and he's this close to making out with the dirty pavement with a man's body pressed up against him back on top of him, breathing seriously loud into one of his ears. He twisted and shook an arm, but bucking the guy. Hands were groping his ass and back, fingers digging into waistbands of school slacks and underwear and Hyojong took one breath in, ramming his elbow back like his life's fortune depended on it. 

There was a loud 'oof!' as the guy doubled over and rolled halfway off him. Hyojong scrambled to his knees, not even ready to take a breath or standing up when a war cry came from behind his head.

"DUCK!" 

Hyojong wasn't too bright, but he knew the warnings of harm when he heard it. He dropped the fuck to the ground. A blur swung across his vision and there's a heavy thump hitting an object. Something fell on the pavement.

He opened his eyes and Lee Hwitaek stood over his assaulter, stupid messenger bag in his hands. 

"Did you follow me here? Are you _stupid?"_ Hyojong should have better priorities, because he was this close to being raped, but the only worry he had in that moment was _Lee Hwitaek followed him into a dark alleyway even though Hyojong **specifically instructed him not to.**_

"You were this close to being assaulted! Why is that your priority?!" Hwitaek's hands shook in spasms, hands flying around his face. Hyojong's reason didn't even get the chance to come into fruition because Hwitaek grabbed his wrist and walked briskly away outside.  "Come on let's go I think he's waking up."

"What do you have in there?" Hyojong's feet picked up and soon they were sprinting the heck out of that alley. Hwitaek turned to him, grinning his trademark eye smile.

"We had English today."

 

Two seconds later, Hyojong shrieked in horror. It left a strange contradicted taste of horrified gratitude and stupefied fascination.

"Holy shit Lee Hwitaek you crazy fucker you just hit a guy with a bag full of dictionaries."

 

"Also you're meeting my mum. She got off work early today."

"What?!"

 

"Are you sure your mum won't mind?" Hyojong asked about the millionth time before he even reached the Lees' front gate. Hwitaek didn't let go of Hyojong's bag strap, pulling him along and opening the gate. 

"Do you do drugs?" Hwitaek asked.

"Not anymore."

"I shouldn't have asked," the other boy rolled his eyes fondly and he pinched his side, scowling about nosy bastards. "Prostitution, drug dealing, human trafficking, theft?"

Hyojong just looked at him.

"Then you're good."

"I don't believe your mum is that easy. No way. No sane Korean mother lets their stupid son near me. I have a tattoo and I have a long fringe. Swearing is how I communicate. I kick puppies for entertainment."

"Please. Your tattoo was done by a henna girl who needed to use all of her ink and you let her draw all over your back. You look at puppies like they're the suns, don't try me, Jongie. Also, my mother trusts my decisions, unlike somebody here," Hyojong tried to strangle him but Hwitaek dodged away, cackling. "I trust you enough not to swear and kill us in front of my mother," Hwitaek opened the front door and Hyojong realised too late that the other boy did mention on the bus like three minutes before that his mother was home and cooking on that day.

"Taekkie! Tell your friend to make himself comfortable!" A woman's voice called out even before Hyojong got his other shoe off his stinky commoner's feet. He flinched, eyes wide at Hwitaek who beamed at him and took his shoe off for him, pulling him to the living room.

"Eomma! This is Hyojongie!"

"Shut the hell up Lee. Why do you have to announce my entrance," he complained and fussed after the boy and a woman came out from the kitchen with hair rollers in her black hair, eyebrows raised.

"Hello Hyojong-ah. I'm Hwitaek's mum, Minsoo."

"Oh my god you look identical," Hyojong answered, eyes wide. He threw away his embarrassment as he ate dirt today, eyes flicking from mother to son, with the resemblance too eerie to be real. "You're not clones, are you?"

"Forgive Hyojongie, he has a few loose screws," Hwitaek punched his shoulder amicably but those fists hurt. Mrs Lee laughed good-naturedly, not even bothered that his first words to her were 'you're not clones are you'.

"I'm so sorry. It's so generous of you to welcome me here. Are you sure I'm not intruding on anything?" He bowed because he remembered his manners thank you very much. Hwitaek mumbled something that sounded like a ruder version of mocking Hyojong's questionable sense of respect for elders and he kicked the boy, smile fixed on his face as he looked at Lee Minsoo.

"No such thing. Hwitaek mentioned you a lot, which is why I asked him to fetch you over to dinner today."

Hyojong side-eyed Hwitaek so much he was sure his eyes permanently stayed glued to one corner of his socket.

"Funny, he never mentioned anything of the sort. Funny too, how he never mentioned he looks exactly like his mother. Did you know, Mrs Lee, that for one of our plays we were short on girls, so we got Taek-ah to dress up as an older woman and he looked exactly like you?"

Hwitaek's mouth fell open in speechless betrayal. His mother stood laughing, hands over her mouth.

"I have photographic proof."

"Kim. Hyojong," Hwitaek smiled through teeth that were glued together, eyes scrunched in false benevolence. Hyojong unlocked his phone, ducked from under Hwitaek's grabbing hands and shoved a phone's screen up Mrs Lee's face.

Hwitaek's mother cackled just as scarily as the guy, only louder and higher in pitch. 

"You do look like me, yeobo."

"Eomma!" The boy whined and tackled Hyojong down, bringing them both to the ground and rolling unceremoniously, hands digging into hairlines and pulling. Hyojong came close to breaking Hwitaek's nose with his elbow a couple of times before he heard Mrs Lee telling them to set up for dinner.

"Are you sure that's fine with you, Lee-ssi?" He shoved Hwitaek's face away from his shoulder and propped up his head to make eye contact with the woman who was kind enough to get her son to perform good deeds for orphaned strays like Hyojong.

"Anymore protest and I might have to legally register you under my family," Lee Minsoo laughed kindly.

"I think you broke him, ma," Hwitaek pushed himself up and stepped on Hyojong's back once for embarrassing him. He swiped the boy's ankle and Hwitaek hopped away nimbly, tiptoeing and back-hugging his mother, talking in a stupid voice girls bend their knees to get level with dogs or babies. Both Lees gestured to him to get up and he pushed himself by the palm, glancing down at his shirt which had three buttons open, exposing his concave ribs. He quickly slid the buttons back into place, but Lee Minsoo had already marched to him, dragged him by the wrist and forced him into a seat on her kitchen chairs.

"You are going to eat until I see meat on you."

He opened his mouth, practiced reassurances of 'I'm okay' ready to assuage the selfless woman.

"Don't even try. I have children, I know them. You're staying with us. I heard that you had a falling out with your parents? Great, you can share Hwitaek's room."

Hyojong couldn't get a word in, too stunned. He's not bothered at Hwitaek's evident betrayal, but of his mother's accepting nature. 

"Ma'am, I have tattoos and I'm potentially ga-"

"Kim Hyojong," Lee Minsoo held a hand up, "do as your mother say."

 

She was joking about the room sharing, but after 9 found Hyojong and Hwitaek crammed into a bed, bickering over who has what portion of the blanket. He tugged and Hwitaek slammed into the wall, complaining on how he nearly broke his forehead and 'why would you do me dirty Jong-ah I literally adopted you into my humble abode'.

"That's your mother, dipshit," he grumbled back, slamming his left shoulder into the mattress like it's personally responsible for this shenanigan. "Why'd you tell your mum about me?"

"Just because I'm fifteen doesn't mean I don't tell my mother everything, Jongie," came Hwitaek's drawl. He kicked backwards and hit a shin. Hwitaek hissed and kicked the back of his calf.

"Be serious."

"I'm always serious. I'm class rep, I have to be."

"Lee."

"Park."

Feeling the sigh leave his lips, he twisted his neck back and met Hwitaek's drooping eyelids. There was a heavy yawn and Hyojong chewed the words on his tongue.

"Do you pity me, Hwitaek-ah?"

Eyes flew open in the dark, strangely luminous even though there's no light. Hwitaek sucked in a breath and Hyojong watched the outline of the boy shifted, an outline reaching towards him but retreating as it distinguished its shape. It might have been a hand, but it was too quick for him to judge. Dark eyes that glowed never strayed from his face.

"Never."

"I'm not trying to get away, I don't wanna go away. I just want to know why."

Hwitaek might have smiled in the dark.

"What are friends for?"

 

"Technically if I'm now a part of this family then you're my brother."

"Please don't say that word in front of me ever again."

 

There was a bit of a scuffle over the next few days over living arrangements (no I will drive you to your place and get all your stuff; don't even try catching the bus to work I'm driving you; Hwitaek clean your damn room.) He was closer to finishing high school, with a true family and a roof over his head.

 

The classic high school experience: drugs, some sort of eating issues, nearly failing class, isolation, alcohol, tattoos, ditching school, piercings, being in two weeks relationships, sex and getting a fake ID. To be a certified adult who is capable of doing stuff, one must've done at least five-ish of the above. Hyojong had done all of it but the last three. 

He's in front of a club, slipping his 2 hours old fake ID. The bouncer gave him a cursory look and passed him through, deeming Hyojong ambiguously acceptable to enter either way. He stumbled into a couple of people, swinging around until he found a parting in the cloud. The bar had a few people in various degrees of drunkenness, from one girl slumped over the counter to one guy squinting at his shot, mumbling to himself.

"First place at a club?" The bartendress? Bartender? Barmaid? asked him, polishing a glass, red hair tucked under a bandanna and red eyebrows raised. 

Hyojong shrugged.

"Illegal, I see," she smirked. "Want a drink or nah?"

"Just wanted to see why so many kids want to sneak in. It smells in here. Too many people throwing up," he stepped aside just to demonstrate a guy hurling what probably was a while dinner's worth of food all over the floor. The barmaid shrugged like it's nothing major, stacking more cups and snatching a Post-It Note from the rack of wine glasses, reading the order.

"Wanna go somewhere after my shift?" She asked him over the note.

Hyojong looked at her. He weighed the possibility of him ending up dead tomorrow night because he followed a pretty woman at dead ass 1 at night to some obscure place. Minsoo and Hwitaek would murder his dead ass. Luckily Hwitaek had long fallen asleep when he snuck out, hair all over the pillow like a goddamn male Rapunzel. Hyojong pulled the blanket all over the boy's hair and tiptoed out the room, opening the door quickly and ran out, catching a cab to the nearest club downtown.

"Why not," he shrugged. Hoping he wouldn't die at 16 and not experiencing what sex is like because he was close to finishing off the high school experience.

 

Her name was Kim Hyuna and she wasted no time laughing at him when he told her why he followed her. But thanks to the gods above or the demons below, Hyuna was a university student behind the barmaid job, doubling as a dance teacher at some idol agency, which meant that she was closer in age and seemingly understood where his reasoning came from. Hyojong was impressed with her house, but more impressed when she offered to finish off his so called 'must been done' high school experiences list.

It was a bit of a rush and too many awkward pauses for it to be easy to erase from his memory. But Hyojong found out many things that night, bidding adieu to Hyuna who good-naturedly leaned against her doorway at 4.30 in the morning, laughing at his ashen expression when they cleaned up the mess they made.

In conclusion, Hyojong didn't mind having sex with a woman, but he rather it be with someone whose body he's more familiar with, so preferably male.

And Kim Hyuna was a cool noona who he wouldn't mind visiting again, so he saved her number in his phone and hopped on the bus home.

 

Lee Minsoo was in the kitchen waiting for him. Hyojong dutifully sat down on the chair and before she could even nag him, he beat her to it.

"I got a fake ID to get into a club and I just came back from this noona's place after having sex with her."

"Anything else?" Minsoo asked him as patiently as she could, fingers splaying over her crossed forearms. He wracked his mind.

"I tucked Hwitaek in and I finished all my homework?"

"Why did you do all that?"

"I was just curious, essentially. I didn't even drink and the sex part was weird. I wouldn't do it again until I properly learn how to," he curled his lips in distaste. A woman was different, probably because he only tackled Hwitaek and Hwitaek only, so the only body he knew as well as his own was his adopted brother's. It's weird to be touching a stranger's body. The so called 'appeal' dimmed in glamour in his mind. It was unjust glorification. Why is sex even needed anyways.

"And?"

"I'm sorry for sneaking out. I didn't think you would take it that well if I just knock at your door and say I got a fake ID may I please go into a club and end up with a one-night stand at an older woman's place," he answered honestly.

Minsoo stayed still, but he saw her nose scrunching up, eyes rolling fondly. He bowed, keeping his head low and waited for her punishment.

"Go apologise to Taekkie. He's been worried sick."

His torso hit the edge of the table and his hair flew everywhere. "Taekkie is awake? _At this hour?"_

"Eomma, is that lousy little bastard back?" He heard footsteps and a bright-eyed Hwitaek skidded across the floorboards with Winnie the Pooh socks over his ankles. **_"You!"_**

Minsoo just left him to deal with a furiously worried Hwitaek, retreating back inside her room.

"You," punch, "stupid," pinch, "little," slap, "idiot!" Hyojong tried his best to shield but not shield his face from the onslaught of violence. Hwitaek paused to catch his breath, cheeks pushing his eyes into deep-etched crescents. _"I was so worried!_ I wanted to search for you! In the damn morning! _In the middle of October!"_

"Hui-yah, Taek-ah," Hyojong tried to bat hands that came too close to gauge out his eyes. "Bitch, _listen."_

"Oh I am, you degenerate of society, you bet I am."

"I think I'm bi."

Hwitaek pulled back, squinting at him, "Okay...?"

"You're not shocked or anything, no screaming, no homophobia...?"

"Why would I? Are you going to do something?"

"I saw you literally drown in the bathtub I don't think any thoughts of undressing you will ever cross my mind."

There's a slap, but Hwitaek's eyes slowly regained width.

"You okay, right? No one abused you because of who you are in the past right?"

He didn't think of his brother.

"Nah."

 

"How did you even find out that you're bi?"

"Had sex with this barmaid. Didn't like it, but I wouldn't be gross if I had to do it again."

"Wow, a teenage boy with low libido. First I've seen."

"Your first priority is my libido, you fucking creep, not the fact that I went out and had sex just then."

"Your first priority when you were close to being raped was that I followed you, so I don't see your point."

"Shut the fuck up and try to sleep until seven, you cunt."

"Don't be sexist, Jong-goon."

"I will suffocate you into this pillow don't test me you dick."

"Now you're just rude."

Hyojong shoved him into the pillow and Hwitaek kicked him in retaliation at breakfast, two hours later.

 

They graduated, Hyojong being one of the surprising cases. There were talks of a betting pool in the teachers' lounge of how long it would be until he dropped out. Hwitaek, the snake, the snitch, the smiling wolf in sheep's clothing, knew that Hyojong was motivated by few things in life and spite topped the motivational scale. In what one would call a 360 degrees transformation, Hyojong studied even more than Hwitaek, graduated in the top 20 students in the school and flaunted his robes about forty times in front of at least one staff during the graduation ceremony.

It wasn't even a surprise to no one when he followed Hwitaek to the same university. It was a given on both their parts, because no one could handle a Lee Hwitaek by themselves as no one could handle a Kim Hyojong by themselves. For a while, it was fine. No one bothered Hyojong, per usual, until Hwitaek insisted he became acquaintances with other people and he side-eyed the guy so much that it invalidated itself by second week because no one was scared of Hyojong anymore because everyone suddenly has tattoos and long hair and swears a lot now.

"This isn't a phase, this is an integral aspect of my identity," he remembered bemoaning to Minsoo over the phone.

"You just sound like you only discovered Tumblr at age 18," Hwitaek snorted next to him.

"Put me on speaker," Minsoo told him, "and yeobo, isn't it better if everyone normalised what you do?"

"I can't be edgy anymore," he breathed in horror, "I'll be one of the masses."

"I don't know why people bothered to be scared of you when you're just a melodramatic ladle full of angsty goodness," Hwitaek interjected. He raised a fist and glared at his friend who sneered at him.

"Boys," Minsoo cleared her throat. They gathered themselves, then eased up when they remembered she's not with them, "since you're college students and a bit more responsible than before," they both cringed at her clear disapproval because when Hyojong visited last week he got lost to the next town over, "I'm allowing one questionable decision."

"What do you mean 'questionable decision'?" Hwitaek asked cautiously while he blurted out "Like murder okay? Or dyed your hair okay?"

Hwitaek looked at him like he just asked to mass murder all the elephants in Africa.

"Like dyed your hair okay," Minsoo reiterated, not even phased by his question. Not since he asked why did she have to put water in rice.

"I was going to call to ask your permission, actually," Hyojong informed her, because he is a Good Son™. Hwitaek aww'd from the side, dodging his swipe and Minsoo made a noise between 'I'm glad I still have authority in your lawless life' and 'Fucking finally'.

"Dying your hair is fine, but don't change the colour every week. Visit me once a week and remember to call once a day. Don't even think of murdering anyone, Kim Hyojong."

"Okay eomma," he rolled his eyes.

"And tell Hwitaek to stop spamming my phone. I don't even know how many texts he send me a day. My phone keeps on vibrating."

"Taekkie-yah, you're being a nuisance!" He screamed.

"Shut up you imbecile!"

 

But given it was South Korea, in Asia, where thinking is about as progressive as medieval Europe can get after the Roman Empire collapsed, their close friendship and questionable brotherhood? sibling-ship? was an eyesore to some self-entitled assholes.

It's also how Hyojong got a black eye from a very angry and lanky noodle child Yan An who misunderstood the situation, but they resolved it afterwards in the infirmary where Hyojong explained through the cracks shared between both eyes, one black and the other purple.

It started out like this.

Some unidentified self-entitled asshole had commented that his relationship whatever with Hwitaek is disgusting. Hyojong as the sole bully in Hwitaek's life could not let others pick on the stupid idiot who couldn't even dye his hair blonde or walk without tripping, so he felt justified in correcting that they're adopted brothers.

"Oh so you're not only faggots, but you're also incestuous bastards," the guy wasted no time in injecting his out-of-the-sewer opinions.

"In Australia, cousins could get married to each other and potentially adopted siblings. I don't see your point," he sighed. He renounced his street fighting ways before high school ended. Hwitaek had patched him up too many times with too many snide comments and tears and snot on the side, too much that he saw no point in fighting. His fists clenched and curled, teeth grinding behind a calm facade. One more stupid word...

"Well I guess you and your faggot lover can hop aboard that plane to that stupid piece of land down under then, freak."

"Don't be immature," he scoffed, "at least I have someone. Who do you have? Some twinks in your opium dens down in Hongdae? Oh wait, I forgot, you don't do 'gays'," he hurled the exact same words to an ashen face, lips trembling with barely concealed disgust and anger.

Good riddance.

Then two things happened.

The guy surged forward but a fist met his face first, smack bang onto his eyes. He keeled forward and there's angry Mandarin pouring his ears and a mix of Korean going 'I will not stand for this discrimination'.

Three people broke them apart and Yan An walked himself to the campus coordinator, apologising for his actions. Hyojong himself was supported to the infirmary, ice packs kept firmly over both eyes. The door opened and closed again and someone asked him vaguely if he's okay.

"I'm temporarily blind, but I need to find that kid to explain what happened," he groaned, lifting the packs off one eye, "oh shit, hi."

The kid stood in front of him, lips set in a line.

"Have a seat. You've done your talking, let me do mine. I'm Hyojong," he gestured to the nurse's stool and the kid tentatively sat down, eyes still on him, "what's your name, kid?"

"Yan An." An international child, okay.

"Did you hear anything before you punched me, Yan An-ssi?" 

He's struggling to open an eye, but he's pretty sure that's a no. 

"No I didn't. Tell me how lost I was for context, because people were yelling at me that I didn't understand the situation and punched the wrong guy."

Oh, that's fine. At least this one didn't insist on being right. He shifted the packs, the pain stinging his fingertips. 

"He made fun of my brother and I. Thought we were in a lovers' relationship and threw nastier words than I did to him at the end before you punched me. I wanted him to feel how it felt to be in my position, so I did what I did. I'm not sorry."

"Two wrongs don't make a right," Yan An argued.

"That's rich coming from you, kid," he snorted.

"I'm sorry I punched you, but I'm not sorry because of my reason."

"So what, I should punch him instead?"

There's silence. He dropped both ice packs and lifted an eyelid to see Yan An grinning at him.

"You crazy motherfucker."

 

He never once doubted Yan An as the next Extra King, but God that kid is terrifying. He tracked the fucker down and they both bashed the guy into oblivion. It's such a mafia-esque approach to vengeance that Hyojong forever kept this moment as an aside in his memory of Things Yan An Are Capable of Doing and Will Do, A Psychopathic Version.

They somehow became close acquaintances afterwards. Close enough that Yan An can crash over at his and Hwitaek's dorm when he came back late from work. Hwitaek didn't ask him why he brought home a stray giraffe child, welcoming the kid to their circle.

Their circle then expanded, because one Hwitaek is annoying enough, but manageable, but a Hwitaek and a Yan An is simply asking the patience of a saint, which Hyojong, a mortal, doesn't possess and never will. Jo Jinho and Yang Hongseok in their core essences are demons in pretty boys' faces with Jinho and Hwitaek in the same vocal singing something or other class and Hongseok is just that guy who Hyojong is betting all of his money on is Jinho's boyfriend that follows them around.

"Oi, Taekkie," he prodded with a socked toe and Hwitaek hummed, not turning his head.

"Did you confess your undying love to Jinho-hyung by accident or something?"

Hwitaek toppled over because he turned around too fast, eyes wide, blonde hair falling into eyes. "What?"

"Hongseok kept glaring at me. At some point he said I should keep my boyfriend in place. Remind him. Reassure him. Whatever, just get him to stop. I get creeped out by his staring."

"Yeah yeah I will," Hwitaek turned back to his stack of papers, "hey, what scale is this?"

Hyojong kicked him. Hwitaek knew he still has nightmares about scales and circles of fifths.

 

Hongseok did stop glaring but he kept insisting that Jinho and Hwitaek went out. What blasphemy. Jinho doesn't have eyes for anyone who doesn't have a gigantic Yang Hongseok stuck on their forehead. Hyojong suffered through two drunken rant sessions where Jinho started to sing-cry about Hongseok's pretty eyes and his lips and 4 am texts that are usually just 'he has such solid thighs oh my god'. He knew where Jinho's heart really lies. Also Hwitaek hadn't gone out with anyone he's practically stuck with either Jinho at the studio or Hyojong anywhere else. If there's a lover somewhere Hyojong would be the first to know about it.

 

"Those children! I feel like I'm going to melt off a layer of skin!" Hwitaek paces the dorm, muttering to himself. Yan An is spread eagle atop of his bed or Hwitaek's, kicking his legs now and then to tell a glancing Hyojong that he's living and Hyojong is silently going through his reading, remembering materials for the test coming up.

"How so, Hui-yah?" He offhandedly asks, not even paying attention to what his friend is ranting about.

"They switched all the coffee machines with Coke, today, this morning. No one know how they did it," Hwitaek lunges across the room, grabs his shoulder and shakes him back and forth on his chair. His teeth rattle for two seconds and he puts a hand on the back of Hwitaek's hand, exhaling softly.

"Who, Taekkie?"

"Wooseokkie and Yuto-yah," the blonde drops onto his shoulder, sagging onto him.

"Who?" He looks at Yan An who snorts from the bed.

"About the most annoying duo on campus. They go around saying they're long lost brothers."

Hwitaek cries a little on his shoulder and he shifts, bringing the blonde to wind himself onto Hyojong's lap. He pets the boy's hair absently, one hand reaching to his revision material and trying to flip with one hand.

"You're not personally responsible for every kid on this campus, Taekki-yah, so don't interfere unless you need to. And you, staying or going?"

Yan An pushes himself up, one shoe on, "Bye hyungs. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Why are you here all the time, anyways?" Hyojong asks the back of a very tall child but Yan An either doesn't hear him or pretends not to, bounces out the door, clicking it shut. Hwitaek mumbles into his neck.

"I think he fought with his roommate. I'll go check."

"For the love of God, Hui-yah, stop interfering. You're like that nosy auntie who never lets her kids breathe. Stop it," Hyojong nags him, scoffing into his hair. Hwitaek pinches his elbow, whining about how the campus would collapse if he doesn't do anything and Hyojong traps him there, arms caging the blonde in. There's much flailing and he narrowly swerves to the side to avoid a smack to the face, with his phone vibrating and Hwitaek hearing it instead of him. Leaning over his shoulder, Hwitaek hangs awkwardly with his torso onto the table behind them for Hyojong's phone while he grips the blonde's waist in fear that he'll smash his face onto the ground toppling over his shoulder.

"Oh it's Hyuna noona," Hwitaek reads the texts.

"You know her?"

"One of the kids I'm tutoring goes to her dance classes," Hwitaek opens the messaging app and taps out a reply. "She asked if you wanted to resume the choreography on Saturday. I said yes for you."

"Are we free on Saturday?"

"I already said yes so we're free now. She's a cool lady. Let's buy her food," Hwitaek tucks a stray fringe behind his ear and blows a loud breath up his eyes. Hyojong bats his face away and pushes him off his lap, cringing at the cramps from supporting a full-grown man on his legs.

"I can't believe you're chums with my ex-mistress," he tells Hwitaek who starts to hobble on one leg and stripping. "Look at me when I talk, you celery stalk."

"Eh," the blonde shrugs, "I'm just that popular." 

Hyojong throws a shoe at the back of Hwitaek's head.

 

Hyuna looks from Hwitaek to Hyojong, then back again. Then she clasps Hwitaek to her chest and coos in the most obnoxious manner possible.

"So squishy!"

"Please, noona, you're embarrassing yourself," Hyojong moves to set up the music player. Hwitaek squirms and chokes out a squeak that sounds like 'help' but Hyuna is relatively harmless to pretty blonde boy, Hyojong not included and until there's an actual murder going on, he wouldn't lift a hand yet.

"Nonsense. Hyojongie never let me see his boyfriend, ever since we had our thing two years ago. He's so cute, why'd you hide him?"

"I'm going to die Jongie-yah."

"That's why."

 

 "Visit me more. Bring your beau next time too," Hyuna waves, smirking from the door. Hwitaek is bowing to her but flinches when she comes close. She winks at the both of them, hand ruffling Hyojong's hair as he passes her and he nods, hand coming up to rest on Hwitaek's back.

They walk for a bit, coming to Hongseok's place as he prepares for that party of his, Hwitaek successfully forcing two children to attend. Wooseok and Yuto, the two troublemakers and problematic sons Hwitaek adopted under his wings.

"So when were you going to ask me to be your boyfriend, Hyojongie?" Hwitaek asks him.

"Never, you lousy asshat."

 

Hyojong cannot believe he's to be subjected to this kind of bullshit. Fucking. Unbelievable. 

He's in direct crossfire between a continuously drinking Yeo Changgu, Yan An's roommate and Yuto and Yan An's little comforting circle, the Chinese's body language clearly in distressed. He's got eyes and he's not dumb. Yeo Changgu is the physical reenactment of drinking his problems away, still looking at Yan An on Yuto's shoulder like his world is falling apart. Hyojong doesn't know much about the guy nor does he care to, but that's a glare of jealousy, akin to what Hongseok still spring up on him now and then and Hwitaek's eyes whenever Hyojong mentioned he's meeting up with Hyuna. Changgu has a history of being generally dumb and making people hate him instead of giving legitimate reasons for why he did what he did. One time Jinho crashed into him with a cup of coffee and in the words of the boy when he met up with Hyojong later, Changgu made it seem like Jinho was in the way and Changgu had cut the corner too fast. In a true tsundere fashion, he threw money at Jinho and scoffed, walking away, instead of checking to see if Jinho's okay. 

Idiots like that have reasons for suddenly blowing up at their roommate who they have a crush on.

Or do something more idiotic.

Which Changgu is doing, trying to hit on a girl even though he's looking at Yan An's face the entire time. Hyojong's sure he has some grand noble reason in that alcohol-induced brain of his, but he doesn't care and his little Chinese chick is crying, so he shoves people aside, pulling everyone into some kid's car.

The children seem genuinely confused that Yan An and him who notoriously punched each other on the first day back to uni, are on speaking terms, but he volunteers to keep watch over the door, knowing the most the kid would do is stare at the ceiling and cry. The last time he did it was after he read some French book and shut himself in Hyojong's room, until dinner when Hwitaek and Hyojong cooked dumplings to lure him out.

"I honest to God didn't know you two were on speaking terms," Jung Wooseok tells him, amazed, dazedly leaning on Hongseok for support after allegedly running from his workplace. Hyojong chews his granola bar slowly, grinding out some tough nut with his molar.

"Been for quite a while now. He just misunderstood the situation that one time he socked me across the eye."

"That's...actually kind of sad and mildly terrifying. Not to mention concerning."

"You'll get used to it."

 

"Look at you, integrating into society and the masses," Hyojong cheers a little, one hand linked with Hyojong, the other texting Hongseok for updates and spamming Ko Shinwon, who was in a weird 'I'm staring at you oh wait you're staring at me too' phase with Wooseok. He's not commenting on that he hasn't even recovered from the damn Changgu-Yan An fiasco.

"Shut the fuck up, Taek-ah."

"Do you know that in literature, romance is validated on the ground that it integrates a pariah back into society?" Hwitaek asks him, skin shining. Hyojong racks his brain for a good comeback for this frankly too philosophical discussion on the middle of the footpath.

"So in this case, our love is beautiful because I'm now welcomed back into society?" He squints.

"Correct! I'm glad you didn't ditch your brain in a hole somewhere!" Hwitaek turns to swing their hands, Hyojong rolling his eyes at the back of the blonde's head.

"Sure, you plastic spoon hoarder."

"Shut up you called me thigh bone man."

 

"Oi Lee Hwitaek," he mumbles into the dark. There's a slurred 'ugh'. "You're a shitty asshole."

"I thought you were going to declare your undying love for me, but you just do your usual 'goodnight' insult. Sleep, Jongie."

There's a pause.

"Taekkie-yah, know that everyone and everything is forgotten over time. But if you remember me, then I don't care if everyone else forgets."

When he closes his eyes and turns away, he hears a voice. Maybe it was Hwitaek's, or a figment of his imagination.

"They say that if you can love someone with all your heart, then there's salvation in life. Thank you for being my saving grace, Kim Hyojong."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, cousin marriages are legal in Australia.
> 
> If you see those lyrics from Never, yes they were intentional.
> 
> Also the tsundere theme has somehow managed to be consistent throughout everything I write so please understand that by the time I finished it had already been done.

**Author's Note:**

> Yuto and Yan An's friendship makes me believe in the good of the world. Also I stand strongly to Yuto being an edgy teen but in reality is a soft bean


End file.
